“The house has seven bedrooms and a hot tub on the patio. It’s going to be wicked, bud.” Axel turned to me. “You can share a room with me, Maddie. Since we have to double up.”
Chase made a sound in his throat.
I laughed, pretending not to notice. “Pretty sure Crystal already claimed me.”
“Perfect. The more the merrier.” He winked, and I rolled my eyes. I stuffed my binder back into my bag and was about to cover up the rest of the tray when I paused and held it out to Chase. "Do you want one before I go?"
Chase looked up at me, then glanced at Axel and Rory goofing off next to the door. It was a look that said,We shouldtalk about this, but I wasn't ready to have that conversation—not when all I wanted to do was drop the tray of Rice Krispies on the tile and climb into his lap. I raised an eyebrow and pretended to lower the Saran Wrap. Chase’s nostrils flared. He reached out a hand and snatched one.
"You ready for tomorrow's exhibition?" Axel asked.
Chase took a bite from the corner of his Rice Krispies treat. "I'm not the one who needs to be ready."
Rory put Axel in a headlock. "Gotta toughen up, impress that scout."
My eyes flared. "A scout?" I reacted before my thoughts had time to cycle back to the conversation we'd had a couple of weeks ago. Right.Coach Wilson has a connection. “Is the scout going to be at the game?" I asked, my heart falling a little.
Secretly, I'd enjoyed that Rob had been so occupied with preparations. Seeing Shar and Crystal together on campus every day after class had been a much-needed return to normalcy.
I covered the tray and backed away with Chase’s eyes still locked on mine. Yes, it was cowardly, but I needed to think. There were reasons why making out with Chase in the study room wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t quite grasp them at that moment. I needed fresh air, and I needed to talk to Shar and Crystal.
I gave a small wave. "Okaaay. Well, good study session."
Rory yanked the door open, and Axel gave Chase a salute. "See you on the ice, bud."
Chase nodded once. "It'll be a rough one today, boys."
Rory shouted something that sounded like "Hell yeah!" but as it was a mix between a battle cry and a whoop, I couldn't make out the words exactly. I split off from the guys as we exited the North Centre. They went left to the Dome, and I went right to the east side of campus.
It had taken Shar all of three weeks before she gave up and slept almost exclusively at Rob's, but tonight, since the boys had practice, I was hoping I'd catch her at home. I had to talk to someone about what had just happened or I was going to burst.
I tried to replay the moment in my head—tried to catch each second with clarity—but it was impossible. He was reading the poem, and then we were both grabbing for the pen, and then— It was like we were caught in a whirlpool, swirling closer and closer until there’d been nothing left to do but meet.
I adjusted the straps of my backpack. His hands had been on my notebook. His hands had beenon me.
That made my stomach flip. I'd been honest with him, and it hadn't felt weird at all. He didn't make a big deal out of my admission. If anything, that conversation had lowered the strangeness. Even now, while I didn’t want to have a post-game breakdown with him, it wasn’t because I thought it would be awkward. It was because I didn’t want to hear or say the thing that was sure to be said.
Chase’s lips on mine didn’t equal the proof I’d been seeking, not under these circumstances. There could have been a hundred reasons why it had happened—we were alone in a room together. Reading a poem about sex, albeit terrible sex. I’d just admitted I was still attracted to him, and Chase . . .
What he must be going through with his mom, with his job. I didn’t tell him that I’d heard about any of it, and after that kiss, I wasn’t sure I was going to. Those brief seconds may not have equalled proof, but if I left the kiss there, standing in time, then it could mean whatever I wanted it to, couldn’t it?
It could mean Chase Wilson found me attractive. It could mean that even though I was a few years younger and he’d never noticed me when we were in high school, maybe something had changed.
It didn’t have to mean that he was emotionally compromised and saw an easy, desperate target and decided to take advantage. You know,ifthoughts like that were clawing their way into my head.
I clenched my jaw and crossed the street. The sun crept toward the horizon, but every day, it stayed up a few minutes longer than the last. I hadn’t realized how much my soul was craving more light. I couldn’t wait for our weekend getaway in the mountains. We’d initially talked about spring break, but with Canada West and then the potential for Nationals, the boys weren’t willing to make any commitments between the two. They had to beg Blakely to give them those three days at all.
I turned up Sharla’s walkway, climbed the steps, and knocked on the front door to the girls' house.
Shar’s roommate swung the door open within seconds. "She’s not here." I frowned, and she leaned against the moulding. "She has a performance tonight, I think?"
I deflated. Damn it, I’d completely forgotten. It wasn’t that I was supposed to attend—her performance was across town—but that meant she wouldn’t be back until late.
"Okay. Thank you."
"Do you want me to leave her a message?"
I shook my head. "All good. I’ll catch her tomorrow."