Page 40 of The Save

I retraced my steps back to campus and found my Rabbit along the curb just south of the GRB Complex. Tomorrow night, Shar, Crystal, and I were getting together during the exhibition game since it was closed to anyone but team members and staff, and we couldn’t attend. This memory could exist in my body for twenty-four hours without causing internal combustion, couldn’t it? I could talk to Tash, but implosion seemed preferable.

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The three of us locked ourselves away in Shar's room on Wednesday night, and before we could even settle on the bed, I said it out loud. “I kissed Chase.”

And just like that, the bubble popped, and reality flooded in to fill the vacuum. Chase was a faculty member. What would happen to his job if anybody found out? What about my place on the committee? While it wasn’t the only thing on my resume, it certainly made it more compelling. Especially if we found good results at the end of the semester. The write-up sounded less compelling when it included, "Oh, yeah, and I'm sleeping with the coach."

Not that weweresleeping together or evenwouldsleep together. But my body had not been sated by one kiss in the study room. That curiosity, that fascination I had with Chase hadn't dissipated by feeling more of him. If anything, it had the opposite effect.

Crystal gave me a look. "Wait. You kissed who? Garrett?"

"No." I flopped down on Shar's bed and hissed,"Coach Wilson."

Shar and Crystal were the personification of deer in headlights. "What? When?" They gathered around like children waiting for bedtime stories.

I told them everything, and they asked the same questions I had only just started asking myself.

"Yeah. No. I know. It can never happen again.”

“I mean . . . it could happen again." Crystal played with the tassels on one of Shar's pillows.

"Would he get fired? It's not like he'syourprofessor or coach,” Shar asked.

I stared up at Shar's popcorn ceiling. "No. He's not, but it wouldn't look good."

They both nodded in agreement.

"Do you two want more than that?" Crystal asked.

"I don't know." I grabbed the pillow she was fiddling with and dropped it over my face. That was the truth. I knew how I felt around Chase, how I'd always felt around Chase, and that feeling was intoxicating. Especially when, for me, that sensation of everything slowing down, of the wheels inside my head grinding to a halt, didn't seem to happen with anyone or anything else. But did that mean I wantedmorewith him? I’d never gotten past the simple idea of him.

"I guess I always imagined you with some brainiac or something,” Crystal said.

I pulled the pillow from my face with a look of horror. "Do you think I need more over-analysis in my life?"

She chortled. "No. I just meant someone who could match your smarts."

"Those guys are all nerds," Shar said, and I laughed.

"Not all of them."

Crystal leaned back on her arms, and the mattress jumped. "Remember that guy, Matt or Marty? Oh, it was Marty."

I knew exactly who she was talking about. He was a farm boy, a grad school student who wore Wranglers and looked more than good in them. "Okay. I take it back. They're all nerds or assholes." Marty had definitely been that. I went out with him once and spent the entire night listening to him refute every benign comment I made.

"At least you know smart guys do have the potential to be hot,” Sharla teased.

"It's not like Chase isn't smart." I suddenly felt defensive. He might not have been good at math in high school, but he’d figured out how to get a bachelor’s.

Crystal raised an eyebrow. "You tutored him when you were fourteen and he was seventeen.”

“That says more about her than him." Shar got up and grabbed her hand lotion off the dresser. She took some and passed it around.

"But wouldn't it always feel, I don't know, lopsided?" Crystal asked.

Something twisted between my ribs.

Stuck.

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