Page 78 of The Save

I staredat my application for the Rhodes still sitting on my nightstand, then looked back at the papers I held in my hands. I signed the application, but these were signed by Lamont.

It had taken me three days to write up a proposal. Once I put pen to paper, the ideas wouldn’t stop coming. I took it to Kowalski, and we made a few adjustments, and then I’d presented everything to Lamont by the weekend.

I couldn’t quite believe it. He’d accepted my proposal, and I was set to move forward with the help of dedicated university resources in the next month if I wanted to. It was strange. I’d been working toward applying for the Rhodes all year, and yet this idea that I’d stumbled upon had more forward momentum.

I blew out a breath. It was time I had an actual conversation with my mother.

I dialed my mom’s number, then stretched the phone cord across the hall and into my room, closing the door.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom.”

Her voice brightened. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier.”

She scoffed. “Maddie, I’m not your insurance company. I don’t want to be a burden.”

I sat on the floor pressing my back against the wall. Ever since the hockey game, she’d been trying hard to not impose on my time. It only made me feel like a jerk. “You’re not a burden, Mom. I love you. I’ve just been—” My voice caught. I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I’ve been a little confused.”

“Oh, Maddie. Just a second.” Something rustled on the speaker. “Okay, I’m sitting down.”

I opened the floodgates. I told her my feelings about Chase, the hurt that followed his leaving, my work with the Outlaws and my proposal for the league, then finished with the application sitting on my desk. When I finished, she was quiet a moment.

“I’m a little concerned . . .” she started, and I jumped in.

“About the scholarship? Chase?”

Mom laughed. “The combination of the two. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking about those high school years wondering if I did everything wrong. If I shouldn’t have let Chase and his dad move in?—”

“Mom, the last thing you need to worry about is me. You went through so much.”

“I know, but I never thought?—”

“Nothing happened. I just . . . was a little obsessed with him.” I winced at the admission.

Mom sighed. “I guess I understand that. He’s always been so charming.” That was one way to say it. “But now I think I’m more concerned that you’re making this choice on the hopes that something will happen with him.”

I nodded. “I thought of that too. But I don’t think that’s it.” I’d run the thought experiments, and if Chase didn’t ever come back to Calgary, I still wasn’t feeling the same excitement.

“Sometimes dreams are hard work. I don’t want you to give up too soon,” she mused.

“I know.” Again. Same thoughts.

“But . . . “ She drew a breath. “I trust you, Maddie. You’ve always made good decisions for yourself. Sometimes to the point that I wondered if you were human like the rest of us.”

I laughed, wiping my eyes.

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing to make some mistakes, you know.”

A knock sounded at my door, and I jumped. “I make plenty of mistakes, I promise.” I pushed up from the floor. “Mom, Crystal just got here.”

“Oh, sure.”

“Thank you so much for talking.”

“Anytime.”

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