Page 34 of Until He Scores

“It’s for you,” I said, with a little shrug. “I don’t mind being a little inconvenienced.”

“Yeah, okay.”

We started for the stairs leading up to the small balcony overlooking Uptown Murfreesboro. The golden hue of the town lights glinted off the building facades and glass window fronts, causing them to twinkle like a million little stars. “Can I ask you a question?” I kept my voice down, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness.

“Sure,” Thierry murmured. “Not sure if I can answer, though. But I’ll try.”

“Figured as much.”

He held onto the banister, stopping us mid-stride. His glassy eyes narrowed, as if trying to focus on me. “Ask.” The stubborn lift of his chin shouldn’t have had me biting back a laugh, especially with the seriousness of the question.

“When did you know?”

“About?” Thierry swayed a little, leaning harder into me.

“You know, being gay?”

He grunted and continued up the stairs with uneven steps. He didn’t speak again until we were on the little balcony outside my front door. Letting go of me, he plopped down in the only chair I’d had out there. “I’ve always known.” He shrugged, which looked more like a noodle wobbling than a lift of his shoulder. “If you asked my parents, they’d say since I was about five or six.”

I sat on the top step, turned toward him. “You had no doubts?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Never.”

“Did you ever, you know, try to be with a woman?” Heat filled my cheeks.You’re thirty-five not sixteen.I shouldn’t have asked that. Shouldn’t have voiced my curiosities. I’d been so consumed with Thierry and what he might want from me or what I could give him—if I could give him anything—that I’d wandered out of my carefully crafted comfort zone.

“Yep,” he answered. “Tried that to get back at you. Let’s just say it didn’t go well for either of us.”

Then it hit me. “Lily-Mae.”

He made finger guns, shooting off both rounds before tipping his head back on the stucco edge. “Bullseye. Senior year. I was leaving to join team practice for the US Team. I asked her if she’d be my first, even after learning I was gay. She’d been surprised. I mean, I’d turned her down for a date. Shit, I don’t know what she saw in me to make her say yes. Anyway, I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t even get hard.”

I frowned. “That sucks.” The idea he’d wanted to try yet when the moment came, he couldn’t hurt more than anything else he could say.

“It’s okay. Did you see who she married? Lucky son of a bitch.” Thierry chuffed.

“What about when you’re on the road or whatever, how do you, you know…” I couldn’t even say “get laid.” That made me an even bigger coward.What the fuck is wrong with me?

“I have my ways.” He sighed. “I was also in a relationship.”

“Please tell me it hasn’t always been the asshole who’s claiming you abused his narcissistic ass?” I’d read about him, too. His name was Derrick or Daniel or something. I didn’t give a fuck about his name, to be honest. The fact his fans ignored the photos of him cheating with some d-list actor, said more about them and less about Thierry. Still, Thierry took the brunt of their bullshit.

“Okay,” he said. “I won’t. But it wasn’t always him. There were others.”

“I wish I would have known.” A weight lifted from my shoulders. “I don’t care, Thierry. I wouldn’t have ever cared. Jesus, I’m more upset that you didn’t think you could tell me than anything else. Especially since you kissed me. I mean, I kind of figured it out after that.” Yes, I understood I’d played a part in him not wanting me to know, but damn it, we told each other everything. “You iced me out, man.”

“How could I tell you when you wouldn’t even say hello?”

He had me there. “Yeah, I’ve got no answer.”

“So, I said nothing,” he replied.

“I wish I could go back and change everything,” I murmured. “Make things right between us.”

“Me too,” Thierry said. “Me too.”

We sat there in silence for another while longer before I helped Thierry back up and into my apartment. With only one bed, I’d take the couch and let him sleep off the rest of his stupor. A night of lumpiness was the least I could do after everything that had happened between us.

As Thierry stepped into my apartment, he tensed, taking in the surroundings. “You live here?”

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