“It is not nothing,” he says, filling in the blanks for me.
He grunts and groans as he forces himself to a sitting position. He gets his back against the wall then draws one knee up, hooking an arm around it, then closes his eyes, breathing heavily. I scoot back the small distance to rest my back against the opposite wall.
We sit in silence for a time, the only sounds the distant dripping of water and his breathing, heavy but regular. I wonder if perhaps he fell asleep and am thinking about trying to do so myself when he opens his eyes.
“Are you okay?”
A ghost of a smile passes over his mouth and his eyelids languidly close, pause, then open every bit as slowly. He shakes his head.
“I cannot say that this was part of my plan,” he says, shaking his head but he grimaces in pain and stops the motion.
“Really?” I ask. “You mean you didn’t plan to get captured and have the living shit beaten out of you by a bunch of Urr’ki?”
He chuckles.
“No,” he says. “I had a different vision in my head, but it will be fine.”
“Fine?” I ask, leaning forward because there isn’t a hint of sarcasm in his voice. A glimmer of hope flickers in my chest. I grasp onto it with all that I am. “Are there more of you? Is help coming?”
He frowns and my stomach drops before he shakes his head.
“If there is, I don’t know,” he says, voice low. “I came alone. Against orders.”
I feel sick. He came alone? What was he thinking? He must have a death wish or something. It takes a moment to process his words beyond no one else coming but then the trailing off and the implications become clear.
“What do you mean ordered not to? By who?”
“My Al’fa,” he says, his voice dropping so low it’s almost a growl.
“You disobeyed the Al’fa? The big guy, with the bone breastplate? Seriously?”
I’m in shock. I’ve lived with the Cavern Zmaj long enough to know that isn’t something that happens. The Al’fa says it, they do it. I’ve never once seen them question him or even hesitate. Not once, even if the order seemed like the dumbest thing of all time. My friends and I would joke that the Cavern Zmaj would all jump into a pit of lava if the Al’fa told them to and not question it.
“I did,” he says, his eyes burning into me with an intensity that no one should be able to do.
“Why?” I ask, my throat spasming to try and stop the word because I know and the answer is as scary as all the rest of this.
“For you,” he says.
My heart skips painfully. A peep sound embarrassingly slips out. I blink, move my mouth, but there are no words. Nothing fits this.
He doesn’t know me. He can’t know me. Why? What does he want? Me. Idiot. He wants me. Well that’s not creepy. Or it should be, but…
But it’s not. It’s heartwarming. And on some level it feels… right. Fitting into some pattern that I can’t see, but I know, in my heart, it’s the way it’s supposed to be. None of which makes a damn bit of sense.
How did I get to all this matters of the heart? Can I please go back to just wanting a good fuck before I die? That’s so much simpler. This… this is too much. Because if I’m falling into this dangerous gravity around Ryatuv, what the hell am I supposed to do about Z’leni?
“I… you… I… you shouldn’t have,” I finally manage to say something at least relatively coherent.
He shrugs. Well that’s helpful. A shrug? What the hell is wrong with you? Stupid alien dragon asshole sitting there looking all sexy. Wounded, hurt, needing my care, needing me to handle him.
“Too late for regrets now,” he says, smiling. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you something though.”
“Something? What?” I ask, hope rising again.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, his smile growing even wider.
My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. Instantly self-conscious, my hands fly to my hair, trying to straighten the tangled mess. I haven’t bathed in who knows how long and I can smell myself which I’ve been doing my best to ignore. I’m covered in dirt, my own bruises, and my food rations have been low enough that I’ve lost weight. All in all I look like hell and I know it.