Page 139 of Homecoming

“I’ll give you a handful, baby.”

“Not in my grandmother’s living room,” she said primly.

“That prickly tone turns me on.”

She gave his chest a gentle push. “Let me up, Counselor. I’ve got a game to get to.”

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

Kara wouldn’t admitto anyone, even Dan, that she was nervous about seeing Ellery and Jessie again after their recent lunch had devolved into an indictment of Kara’s choices after the Kelly and Matt debacle.

She hoped they could move on from past hurts, but if they couldn’t, Kara wasn’t about to grovel. As Dan and others had said, she’d done what she needed to in order to survive something she’d thought for a time might break her. It hadn’t broken her, but it had made her stronger and more resilient than she’d been before.

“I remember bringing chairs when we went to my niece’s game,” Dan said.

“Oh right! Good thinking. Bertha probably still has some around here from when we were playing sports.” Kara poked around in the garage and found two stadium chairs covered in dust that made her cough and then sneeze. “Found ’em!”

Dan laughed and pulled a strand of cobweb out of her hair.

“There’s no spider with that, is there?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

He banged the dust off the chairs and tossed them into the back of the Jeep. When they were on their way to Trenton, Dan reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m looking forward to meeting your friends in person.”

“I’m glad that’s finally happening.”

“Are you excited to see them?”

“I’m more nervous than excited. The last time didn’t go so well.”

“I refuse to let you feel guilty about anything.”

“Thank you for the reminder.”

“It’s easy to look back, with the benefit of hindsight, and soften the razor-sharp edges of heartbreak and make the villains a little less villainous. But they don’t deserve to be redeemed or forgiven or given a pass of any kind. What Kelly and Matt did, what my ex did, what my so-called best man did, was monstrous. We’re under no obligation to forgive and forget.”

“You’re absolutely right, and that was very well said about how time softens the sharp edges.”

“I read somewhere, after Dylan died, that the human spirit is naturally resilient and how it’s almost impossible to remain mired in a state of intense grief and heartbreak indefinitely. We simply can’t sustain that initial level long term. I remember the first time I laughed after he died, and how bad I felt afterward. Like how can I find something funny when he’s gone forever? But it was just proof that life goes on, whether we want it to or not, and there’s nothing wrong with laughter, joy or happiness after a great loss. The person we’re grieving wouldn’t want us to be sad forever.”

Kara wrapped her free hand around their joined hands. “Sometimes I feel like we don’t pay enough attention, on a daily basis, to the loss of Dylan, and I’m sorry if days go by without us mentioning him.”

“Please don’t be. He’s always with me, and like I said, I can’t dwell in that space all the time. He’d be so happy you and I found each other, and he’d adore you. I know he would. He was never that fond ofher, which should’ve been a sign to me. He liked everyone, except people who didn’t deserve it.”

“I wish I could’ve known him.”

“I do, too. Having him around is the only thing that could make my already perfect life better.”

“Your point is well taken about the march of time and how it changes things, though.”

“It’s inevitable, I suppose, that we can’t hang on to that level of distress forever, even if it’s always a part of us going forward.”

“Very true.”

They pulled into the parking lot at the elementary school where the rec league game was being played.

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