Renata knocked on the passenger door window. “Open up.”
Kara didn’t want to, but she leaned over anyway to flip the manual lock on the old truck.
Renata got in and shut the door. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be.”
“They shouldn’t have made you feel guilty for surviving the ultimate betrayal and finding a new life for yourself.”
Kara looked over at her cousin. “Do you feel the same way they do? That I let you down by leaving and never coming back?”
“Not really. I mean, it’s not like you left because of me or them. You haven’t seen much of Bertha either. It’s not just us.”
“I didn’t have much chance to prepare myself for this trip home, to think about how things would’ve changed while I was away.”
“Be honest, you rarely think about this place. Why would you? You’ve got a whole new life with a great guy who worships the ground you walk on. What good will looking backward do you at this point?”
“It pains me to think the three of you ever thought you weren’t still important to me, especially you.”
“I’ve always known where I stood with you, but I’ve missed you like hell since you left.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“There’s so much bullshit in this place for both of us. I mean, if our fathers saw us sitting here together, they’d be pissed. How fucked up is that? You’d think two brothers would be thrilled to see their daughters as best friends, but not our fathers.”
“We’ve never let that get in our way.”
“No, we haven’t, but it’s no surprise to me that you checked out of here and never looked back. I’d do the same thing if I could.”
“Why can’t you?”
Renata leaned her head back against the seat. “Because I’m not brave like you are. I couldn’t just pick up and move somewhere I’ve never been the way you did.”
Kara laughed. “I was freaking out about every aspect of that move, but as scary as it was to leave everything familiar, staying wasn’t an option. I couldn’t bear to live anywhere near them, to risk running into them every time I went somewhere. It was worse for me to stay than to go, and not for nothing, already having a job made everything possible.”
“I understand everything you did and why you did it. Don’t let Jessie and Ellery have you second-guessing anything. They’re just butt-hurt that you got to leave here, and they never did.”
“I didn’t think they wanted to. What’s up with Jessie and Doug? She didn’t seem too thrilled that he’s doing well.”
“She is thrilled about that, believe me, but I wonder sometimes if she wants out of the relationship and is afraid she’ll set back his recovery if she makes a move.”
“Whoa. Really? I can’t imagine one of them without the other.”
“I know. They’ve been together for fourteen years. Since senior year of high school.”
“Why does she want out?”
“I mean I could be reading it all wrong, but the addiction years took a heavy toll on both of them, but it was super hard on her to remember why she loved him so much when he was basically destroying everything they’d worked so hard to have. They have two mortgages on their house that they’ll be lucky to ever pay off, and he’s different after the long struggle.”
“How so?”
“He’s very focused on helping other people kick their addictions and less focused on her and their life together. She says he has far more time for his addict friends than he does for her.”
“Has she said anything to him?”
“They’ve been in therapy for years. If you ask me, she was done with him five years ago but hasn’t had the heart to end it. Imagine what it’d be like for her if he relapsed after she breaks up with him.”
“That’s an awful burden for her to carry.”