Page 38 of The Price of My Sins

I eased down onto the stool at the kitchen island, watching them go one by one to get the backyard back in order. I folded my hands in my lap, trying to still the shake in my fingers. My first day out of that hellhole, and I had already set fire to the one relationship I prayed every night I could still salvage.

The front door finally clicked shut. A silence settled over the house like smoke after a blaze. I looked at Charles. He hadn’t moved.

“I’m sorry…” I murmured.

He blinked slowly, his mouth opening like he had a dozen things to say but no idea where to start. “I… I missed a lifetime,” he finally said, voice hoarse. “A whole damn lifetime, Zora.”

“I know.” I swallowed hard. “You think I don’t carry that? You think I didn’t lie awake at night thinking about what I stole from him… and from you?”

Charles stepped closer, dragging a hand down his beard. Even in the midst of my disaster, I couldn't deny how handsome he still was after all these years. “Why? Just tell me that. Why’d you lie?”

I looked down at my hands. “I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. After you told me that you didn’t want kids, I got scared. Then, I found out that you were married. I was still married. I was hurt. So I left. That’s when I met Henry a few months later.” I shook my head. “He became my everything and my nightmare.”

I went on to tell Charles everything. From the time I met Henry, the abuse and everything in between.

He scoffed under his breath. “So instead, you gave him to that devil? Let him grow up in hell. Why didn’t you just leave Z?”

I winced. “I tried. But he would find me every time. And him being a cop didn’t help the situation. He made me quit my job,so I didn’t have any money besides what he gave me for bills and necessities. Even then, he would monitor that. I was stuck with nowhere to go. I thought I could protect Boris, but instead, my son had to watch the man he thought was his father beat me if he didn’t like what the weather was outside. I failed him. I didn’t know how to tell Boris that Henry wasn’t his father,” I whispered, avoiding his gaze.

“You could have come to me, Z. I would’ve protected y’all.”

I finally looked at him, tears threatening to spill. “I’m sorry. I have regretted it every day since. But by the time I was ready to tell the truth, too much had already happened. He had already gone through so much… with Henry. With me being in prison too. I took that charge for my son so he could live. And I’ll do it all over again if that means my son wouldn’t have to spend time in jail.”

“I get that. I would’ve done the same, even if I had known he was mine. We lost thirty-three years, Zora.” Charles’ voice cracked, the weight of the situation pressing into the room like thunder before the storm. “I don’t even know who he is. And now? He doesn't know who the hell I am either.”

He paused, his jaw flexing like he was holding back more than just anger. “And yeah… I was married,” he admitted, his voice softening. “But we were separated. That night when you called me… if you hadn’t hung up so damn fast and blocked me, I would’ve told you that. I would’ve explained everything.” He sat back, shaking his head in disbelief as I remained silent, stuck on the should’ve, could’ve. “I loved you, Zora. I loved you. And my ex-wife knew it. That’s why she refused to let me go. That’s why she dragged that divorce out for years. She knew my heart wasn’t hers.”

The truth in his voice knocked the wind out of me. All the anger I’d held onto, all the justifications I’d built to survive the choices I made, it all started to crumble. I dropped my head intomy hands, the sobs coming harder than I expected. The pain was too layered to hold in. Guilt. Regret. Grief for time stolen, love lost, and the son who now carried the fallout.

Charles didn’t say anything. He just stood and wrapped his arms around me like a shield. I melted into his chest, shaking. He held me tighter.

“You don’t have to go through this alone. I got you, Z.”

Charles held me like no time had passed at all. Although my deceit had caused him pain, he still chose to show me kindness. He had a thirty-three-year-old son, and I was the reason they did not know each other. His arms wrapped around me firm and sure, and the moment I leaned into him, a wave of something old and familiar washed over me that I hadn’t let myself feel in decades.

He smelled so damn good. Twenty years without any male contact has been hard. That mix of sandalwood, spice, and something uniquely him filled my space. And for one brief moment, I let myself fall back into the memory of what it felt like to be loved by this man who saw me.

His hands rubbed soothing circles down my back, and I closed my eyes, soaking in the warmth of him. It felt so damn good to be in his arms again. Too good.

When a moan escaped my lips, he chuckled. “I never stopped wondering about you, Zora,” he murmured. “Never stopped wishing I’d done more or fought harder to get through to you.”

I lifted my head just enough to look at him. “I should’ve never kept him from you. I was scared, confused… angry. And by the time I got past all of that, it felt like too much time had passed.”

Charles looked me in the eye, his thumb brushing a tear off my cheek. “We can’t change the past, Z. But we can start here… if you’ll let me.”

My heart ached with guilt, but hope crept in too, quiet and trembling. “I don’t know if Boris will ever forgive me.”

“We’ll give him time,” Charles said. “And we’ll be here when he’s ready.”

I nodded and felt a sense of wholeness. For the first time in years, I didn’t feel alone. And after everything, I wasn’t sure if I deserved it, but right now, in Charles’ arms, I felt safe. And that meant everything.

It had been three long, frustrating days since I’d heard a single word from Bo. Not a call, not a text, not even a damn emoji. Just silence. I’d been blowing up his phone, leaving messages that started sweet and supportive, then gradually turned into “I know you see my damn texts” and “Don’t play with me, Bo.” The only reason I hadn’t completely lost my mind was because I saw the read receipts. He was alive. But that only made it worse.

So you’re reading my messages… but ignoring me?

That part right there had me pacing the floor of Lexi's living room, phone in hand. A war between love and pride was waged inside of me, and I was two seconds from choosing violence.

I could acknowledge that he was going through it after his mama dropped a whole lifetime of secrets in his lap. Finding out his real daddy wasn’t who he thought it was had to be a full blown mind fuck, but I’m supposed to be his girl. His peace. His home. The one person he doesn’t shut out when the world gets too loud.

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