Page 50 of The Price of My Sins

She let out a shaky sigh, her voice low like the words were stuck in her throat.

“Son…” She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time in a long time. “I need to start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you… for keeping the truth about your father from you all these years.”

I didn’t say anything. I just stared, jaw tight and chest heavy.

“I thought I was protecting you…” She went on, voice cracking. “But all I did was steal time. I robbed you of knowing your real father… from building memories with him, of getting answers only he could give. And that’s on me.” She swallowed hard, eyes glossy with guilt.

“I know saying sorry don’t fix any of it. I know it won’t rewind time or erase the anger you have every right to feel. But I’m hoping—praying—that we can move forward from this. I’m hopeful that you’ll let me earn back your trust, piece by piece. And maybe one day, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.”

The room went quiet. The weight of her words hung in the air like smolder. She looked down at her hands, wringing them together like she expected me to explode, but I didn’t. I just stood there trying to figure out how to let go of a lifetime of questions now answered too late.

“Dad! I can’t believe I have a brother. And he’s handsome and… huge,” Ole girl tried to whisper to Charles, but I heard her.

“Yes, Amina. Boris is your big brother.”

“Wow! I’ve always wanted a big brother.” She smiled, and I chuckled on the inside. I could see it now; I’ll definitely be an overprotective brother.

I looked at my mother, sitting there wringing her hands like she could squeeze some comfortability back into our relationship. She looked so small at that moment—tired. Not just physically tired, but soul-deep tired. She’d been carryingthis shame for years, and now that it was out, all she could do was wait for the fallout.

But it wasn’t going to happen.

I wanted to—God knows I wanted to snap on her. I wanted to yell and ask her how she could lie to me for so long and make me believe that Henry was my father. She had me thinking we were all we had. But I didn’t do any of that. What good would it do? Her actions had caused something that could not be fixed with truth.

Instead, I stepped closer. Not to comfort her but to make sure my voice didn’t crack when I spoke.

“I’m confused,” I said because that much was honest. “I don’t know what to feel right now. Angry? Sure. But more than that, I’m just tired of holding all this weight I didn’t ask for.”

Her lip trembled, and I knew she was holding back tears.

“But I forgive you, Mama,” I said softly. “Not because it doesn’t hurt, but because… I can’t carry this around forever. I won’t. I no longer feel guilty for what I did to save you. To save us. I’ll do it all over again, honestly. The only thing I’d change is letting you take that bid for me.”

She looked up, eyes wide. “Boris, baby, no. It’s my fault. I put us in that situation. I never regretted what I did to save you. I love you, son. I just want to move forward if you’ll let us.”

“It’s going to be hard to do that… but I’m willing to try.”

She nodded silently like she didn’t trust her voice. I turned to Charles. He looked like he’d been holding his breath too.

“I know this ain’t your fault,” I said, my voice a little rougher now. “You didn’t ask for any of this either.”

“I didn’t,” he said, scooting to the edge of the couch. “But I should’ve done more. I should’ve asked more questions.”

“Maybe…” I said. “But blaming you doesn't fix it either.”

He nodded. “So, what now?”

“It’s gonna take time, but I am willing to give this a try. We’ll figure out how we fit together to try to find some type of relationship beneath the awkwardness.”

Charles smiled and gave me a nod.

Amina stood up and stood in front of me. “So does this mean I can tell my friends that I have a big brother?” she asked shyly, and that made me chuckle.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want. How old are you?”

“I’ll be twenty-two in two months.”

“You gotta boyfriend?” I was already being an overprotective big brother. It felt good.

“No. Well… had, but I dumped him because he cheated on me with my best friend. He keeps calling my phone, but I blocked him.” She kissed her teeth and rolled her big brown eyes.

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