Page 120 of Kage

“Maybe.” Her laugh faded and she looked directly into my eyes. “I seem to be in a constant state of upheaval around you.”

“Don’t worry, sunshine. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”

“Maybe that’s not what I want.”

“Maybe that’s what needs to happen.” I tried to pull away, but she gripped my arms.

“Please don’t do that, Kage. Not after everything we’ve been through and what we shared.”

I took a deep breath, holding it a little too long. When I tried to loosen her hold, she dug her nails into my skin. “I’m not good for you, Juliette. I think we’ve established that.”

“Why?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. We were having this conversation now? “I’m too old. I’m too set in my ways. I’m too jaded. There’s a list a mile long and you know it. You keep trying to change me, but that ain’t gonna happen. Not for you. Not for anyone. You’re a wonderful girl, an amazing woman and I refuse to hurt you.” Which is exactly what I would do. That much I already knew about myself and my reactions. The passion would end, the silence ensuing and there would be nothing left but sadness and guilt.

I couldn’t allow that to happen. Not to her. Not to the most incredible creature who’d ever entered my life.

Hurt flashed in her eyes just like it had when she’d told me she’d help with the sanctuary and I hadn’t responded. “I don’t want you to change, Kage. I just want you to live.”

“I’m doing my best. Which is why I need to go into town.”

Her mouth opened as if she was going to ask me to stay, but she released her hold, taking a cautious step backward.

A knot of guilt tightened in my stomach. The woman had a way of doing that to me. Sadly, I had no magical words that would make any of this easier.

“Fine. Go.”

I’d almost forgotten about the weapon. “I’ll load the gun and place it in my desk. Just leave it alone if you don’t need it. Okay?”

“Okay.” She immediately looked away. There was nothing worse than the awkwardness between us.

Just as I was prepared to turn and go, she bounded toward me, once again gripping my arms. On her tiptoes and leaning into me, I was certain she was going to kiss my lips. When she turned her head slightly, I closed my eyes. The light brush of softness on my cheek took my breath away. Some invisible force had pulled me in every time I was around her. The feelings were stronger than I’d dared allow myself to feel. But were also exactly what I couldn’t allow to continue. Maybe if I continued to remind myself that I was everything she didn’t need, I’d find a way to convince myself I was doing the right thing.

When everything inside ached to the point of creating madness.

“Thank you for keeping me safe, Lieutenant Rollins.” Her whisper was full of the very sadness I hadn’t wanted to cause. With that, she walked around me and headed for the house.

As usual, I was nothing but an asshole.

“Where the fuck were you?” I demanded as soon as I stormed into the building. When he didn’t answer right away, I shoved him, the brute force pitching him against the wall.

Maddox struggled to his feet, lunging toward me. As he threw a hard punch, his eyes grew wild with as much hatred as I felt. “Get the fuck off me.”

“You traitor. You left us. You walked away.” I issued two jabs, catching him under the chin and in the gut.

He came for me again, throwing us both onto the floor.

“Whoa. Fight. Stop them.”

Voices were everywhere, men surrounding us, but I didn’t give a shit. I punched him again. And again.

“Fucking Jesus Christ. Separate them.”

I was dragged off the floor, held by two other soldiers. That didn’t stop me. I managed to break free, throwing myself toward the man I’d once trusted with my life.

“That’s it. Both of you. I’ll throw you in the fucking brig until you calm down,” Commander Jenkins snarled as he jumped in the middle, throwing both his arms out. As he glanced from one to the other, I shoved the sleeves of my uniform past my elbows.

Maddox did the same.

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