“Right. Of course you didn’t. Is it some binding thing?”
He grabbed some fries off my plate, skipping the ketchup. “Something like that.”
“Everything with you is like some big trade secret. Is that based on the secretive missions you were on? Or just a guy thing?”
He leaned over and as soon as he did, his natural scent crushed out the delicious aroma of the heavenly food. “What happened on our missions changed every man in our unit.”
“No women?” Maybe I was fishing, but I couldn’t help but think his distaste for women, which was entirely too obvious, came from some personal and unpleasant experience.
“None to date, at least in team six.”
“Because the missions were too dangerous?”
“Something like that.”
“Okay. I’d love to hear about your missions.” Now I was stretching. I took a bite of my burger and he lowered his gaze to my mouth. The man had a way of making me entirely too self-conscious.
How often had he sighed around me? Way too often. I glanced down at Tank, who remained dutifully by our side. We’d found a place that allowed dogs and he’d gotten his own special cheeseburger at my insistence for his bravery.
And for putting up with his father’s grouchy attitude.
“Lady, you don’t want to hear about the missions,” he said gruffly.
“Why?”
“Because,” he said before yanking his napkin into his hand, wiping his mouth and tossing it on the table, “some things we did to people you wouldn’t be able to understand. The things we witnessed were what nightmares are made of. And the things we remember and dream about are harmful to anyone’s mind. Just trust me. You do not want to hear anything.”
I could tell by the flash in his eyes that his dreams were brutal. That’s why he’d been fighting in his sleep. I sat back, uncertain how to converse with him any longer. I’d tried to remain silent while he’d driven for almost three hours before agreeing to stop, but I needed more grounding. I needed answers. I was worried and heartsick, uncertain of my future or why I was being forced to spend time with him.
Maybe it wasn’t that bad. At least he was decent eye candy. Okay, he had the kind of good looks that could haunt my dreams, but for an entirely different reason.
“I’m sorry,” I said. What else could I say?
“Never say you’re sorry.”
“Let me guess, you’ve never told anyone you’re sorry.”
I’d be damned if he didn’t grab another handful of my fries. “Nope.”
“Why is that?”
“Because everything I do is intentional.”
“Oh, wow. A man who knows what he wants. I’m sure you take it too.” I wasn’t certain how to react to his overabundance of confidence other than to wish I felt the same.
I wanted to scream at the man. Why did everything need to be awkward with him? Why? I wanted to pound my fist on the table.
“The motto is from SEAL Team Six. It just means that every day we must lead by example, get up after getting knocked down, train for war, and always fight to win.”
He didn’t look me in the eye when he said it. “That’s… amazing.” I could tell how much being a SEAL had meant to him. But there was a strong reason he’d retired and I doubted it had to do with age. Not since my godfather had tasked him to rescue me. My godfather was a tough old bird, a man of principle and honor.
That meant Kage Rollins was highly respected.
“You should never say you’re sorry, Juliette.” He took a beat staring directly into my eyes. I don’t know why, but it felt as if he’d allowed me to see just a small part of the man inside.
Sadly, I also had a feeling I’d never be allowed to see it again.
CHAPTER 18