Since deciding to join the Navy, that’s the only thing I’d concentrated on. Maybe at some point, I’d thought about becoming a career Navy man, retiring with some glorious title to my name. That had been a lifetime ago when I’d believed in mankind.
Fuck that.
Before I realized what I was doing, I headed for the gate, still as tentative as the horse. But when I opened the door, she didn’t run off like I thought she would.
Good sign.
Right now, I needed something good in my life. I chuckled as I closed the gate behind me. What I remembered most of all about Uncle Henry was his wicked sense of humor. Dark as molasses. He’d used his dry sense of humor to hide what my father hadcalled being a part of the worst atrocities known to God and man.
He’d never expounded because that’s not what Rollins men did. We kept our pain inside.
I could see how that was working out for me. Dad’s heart attack had landed him in the hospital with a quadruple bypass.
Uncle Henry hadn’t been so lucky.
Sadie turned toward me, forcing me to come to her. Just like a lady. Just like Juliette. When I was closer, I took the reins into one hand, lifting my arm slowly so she could see what I was doing. There was a hint of fear in her eyes. I’d always been able to tell when the colt had been afraid.
“You’re okay. I won’t hurt you.” As I started stroking her, she whinnied. Just once but it was enough to bring a smile to my face.
I took my time, studying the burns that had left her with nasty scars. “Who did that to you, baby? Whoever it was should be castrated or worse.”
Another whinny and the haunted sound was as if she knew what I was saying. Dogs and horses were intuitive. Much more so than many humans.
Especially yours truly.
“Why don’t we get you some of that special food? Huh? Would you like that?”
Sadie had already managed the art of giving me a side eye just like Tank and definitely like Juliette could do. I led the horse toward the barn, still thinking about Henry’s note. WhenI walked into the oversized structure, I really looked at it for the first time. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that it existed, the forced retreat into my childhood nothing I wanted or believed I could tolerate.
I opened one of the stalls. There was a feeder already built in. I’d already filled the trough with water, selecting one of two dozen stalls for my latest guest. Why in the hell had Henry built something so large? There were three other rooms, the one in the loft reminding me of an office setup complete with internet. The man had spared no expense in having the barn built.
After adding some feed, I glanced at the duffle bag that Tom had brought. Inside I found several grooming items including several brushes. While Sadie looked well groomed, I retreated into something I’d been allowed to do as the child who’d still believed in magic.
I started brushing her, being as gentle as possible. I hadn’t asked Tom anything about whether she was still in pain or any questions a decent human being would ask.
The trouble was I had no business even trying to be a decent human being. I’d told myself more than once it was better for everyone if I lived alone.
Then Tank had come into my life.
And Juliette with her hardcore press to make me a better person.
Now Sadie, who just wanted to feel safe and unafraid.
“Sadie, girl. I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“Maybe if you say it often enough, you’ll finally believe it.”
Hearing Juliette’s voice should irritate me, but I chuckled from the effect of her tone. She had a way of making me furious while wanting nothing more than to tackle her to the floor and drive my cock deep inside her sweet pussy.
“I think Sadie understands me. She’ll tolerate me until I figure out what to do.”
“Maybe you’re the actual horse whisperer.”
I pulled the brush away, taking a few seconds to stroke Sadie’s face. “Not really.”
“I don’t know. You have a gentle touch. I can tell.” She inched closer. Would there always be an awkward tension between us?
“When I was a kid, my dad took me to this really cool ranch not too far from our house. Up until that point, I’d loved horses, but the first one I’d met had scared me to death and I had nightmares. I was just a kid, but even then, my dad was the kind of man to make me face my fears. So we went to the ranch and he forced me on this colt. Of course to a kid who was smaller than the other boys, the beast seemed huge. My dad was pissed because I burst into tears. He told me that Rollins boys don’t cry.”