Page 67 of Sophia & Cameron

“Yeah, he’s pretty great. He works with some of the veterans over at the country club. Holds a group meeting for people with anger issues, too.”

Her heartache immediately shifted to understanding, and she bit back a surprised laugh. “You’re seeing a therapist?”

Cameron nodded, embarrassment written all over his face. “It’s been good, though. You were right.”

“I’m so happy for you!” Sophia stepped forward. “That’s amazing.” Cameron was really doing it. It took every ounce of her self-control not to tell him what had been on her mind. She couldn’t exactly ask him out when he’d just admitted to seeing a therapist. How would that go over?

Not well.

It’d look like Sophia only wanted him back because he was doing what she’d recommended. He might not even be interested in taking her back anymore. He’d changed.

She blinked away the tears that stung behind her eyes. Sophia would have to let him go. It was the right thing to do. Swallowing back the disappointment, she forced a smile. “I’m so proud of you.”

He hovered there. For a moment she thought he might say something more, but he didn’t.

“Sophia! Ready?”

They both looked over to where Emma was holding up a brown paper sack from the bakery.

“I should probably…” Sophia murmured.

Cameron nodded. “I’ll see you around. At work.”

“Right,” Sophia agreed. “At work.” She smiled and then pushed past him. Her skin brushed against his and a chill ripped through her body. No looking back. She wouldn’t be able to bear it without running into his arms. She wouldn’t become the reason he got derailed from the improvements he’d started to make.

He was happy. Who was she to upend that?

28

Cameron

“How have your exercises been going?”

Cameron glanced up from his hands. His therapist sat with his ankle across his knee. He was the epitome of attentiveness, without making Cameron feel like he was digging for something to judge him on. It had been easy for Cameron to trust the guy. But they’d been going at this for a couple weeks and he still didn’t feel he was at the point where he could try again with Sophia. “Good, I guess.”

“You think things could improve?”

He held back a sigh. His whole body itched to move on from the breathing techniques and the positive self-affirmations. Deep down, he knew he’d be just as scared to lose Sophia if she were to give him another chance, and he didn’t know if he’d survive losing her again after that. “I feel like I’ve hit a wall with all of it.”

“You don’t think you’ve improved?”

“I know I have.” Cameron settled in his seat and rested his head against the back of the couch. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

With a ragged brush of his hand through his hair, Cameron shut his eyes and willed his heart to slow. “I keep seeing her around town, at work…” Even in his dreams. “And it’s getting harder and harder not to beg her to take me back. I’m not good enough for her. I know the second she does, I’ll revert to the person I was when we were together.”

“And why do you think that is?” Tyson prodded.

Cameron blew out a heavy breath. “Because I know it’s only a matter of time before I’ll lose her to someone better.”

Tanner was quiet for a moment. There wasn’t a change in his easy expression—no indication of what he was thinking at the moment. He might as well be wearing a mask with the unreadability of his brown eyes and dark brows. Tanner gave himself a short nod before commenting. “We all have insecurities, guilt, shame, anxieties. They’re the parts of us that hold us back—for good or for bad. For instance, we need a moral compass. Without shame and guilt, we’d have no reason to care for others and the way they feel. But our insecurities are something of our own making. They’re the shackles that hold us back based on our bad experiences. Unfortunately, most of those experiences were brought on by no fault of our own, and yet there is a part of us that clings to them like a lifeline. It’s a strange sort of reflex if you think about it.”

Cameron listened with half an ear. His experiences were rooted in the way his brother had treated him. Samuel had never truly made amends for what he’d done back then. They’d simply pretended like it had never happened. But Tanner was right. Cameron still clung to the chains of that experience in a way. He let the pain from that moment in time strangle him when he was with Sophia. “How do I break the habit?”

“Well, what do you think are the root causes of those insecurities?”

“We’ve been through that?—”

---