Page 103 of Sunrise By the Sea

She called Polly, who was both dismayed and instantly sympathetic, and explained she’d be away for a couple of days, but she’d forgo the money so she could get Jayden in – he spent enough time there anyway, he could easily handle the dough, and she’d make an extra load of sauce that afternoon they could freeze.

Beyond that, she couldn’t think.

Polly was full of sympathy – and concern too, for losing her, plus worry, remembering that timid mess who had shown up all these months before.

‘Are you okay going to an airport and getting on a plane and stuff?’ she said, which nearly made Marisa baulk again. ‘Can’t you get the GP to prescribe you anything? Like a sedative?’

‘I’m too anxious: they don’t really work on me,’ admitted Marisa. ‘I work myself into such a state worrying they’re going to knock me out and I’ll go crazy or fall asleep on the wrong plane or have to get removed, that they don’t really do what they’re supposed to do.’

‘Oh goodness,’ said Polly. ‘What about a gin and tonic then?’

‘Same deal,’ said Marisa. ‘So scared it’ll make me crazy it makes me crazy.’

‘I am so sorry about your grandmother,’ said Polly. ‘You always speak about her so much.’

‘Just because . . .’ Marisa’s voice cracked a little. ‘She’s normally so annoying.’

Polly smiled. ‘Do you need a lift? Huckle can take you to Exeter when the tide comes down.’

Marisa had been about to say no, but realised that actually every last piece of help she could get would be good in this situation.

‘Yes please,’ she said. ‘Are you sure he wouldn’t mind? The train fare is more than the flight.’

Polly snorted. ‘It would be. No. He won’t mind.’

She didn’t add, although she could have, that Huckle’s gratefulness to Marisa was boundlessly huge.

The twins had to come, of course, and were delighted by this turn of events; they didn’t get a lot of trips in the car.

Not only did they get to squabble over one filthy and very badly cracked iPad in the back seat – they had begged Marisa to ‘borrow’ her phone, being canny, before Huckle sternly told them to button it – but there was the promise of that impossibly exotic thing, the McDonald’s Happy Meal, on the way home. Therefore they both decided to sing the entire way, leaving Huckle and Marisa not much space for talking, which Marisa didn’t mind. She looked out of the window, trying not to feel her anxiety grow as Mount Polbearne grew small in the side mirror behind her, touching distance, then gone. She wanted to reach out, run back, but she couldn’t.

‘You gonna be all right?’ said Huckle in his sunny way.

‘I think so,’ said Marisa. ‘No. Yes.Yes. I can do this.’

‘If it helps,’ said Huckle, ‘nobody likes airports. Everybody hates them. Everyone’s feeling the same as you, just on a slightly different level.’

Marisa looked at him.

‘Is that true?’

‘Of course. Hellish places.’

Marisa looked at her hands.

‘That does kind of help, actually,’ she said.

‘There you go. Also, you get a run-up.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you walked down to the bakery. Then you got in a car. Then you’ll be getting on a train. You’re working your way up in steps. Plane is just the next bit.’

‘You’re a very helpful man,’ said Marisa.

‘Good,’ said Huckle. ‘Now could you invent a honey pizza, please? Just to help things along.’

‘There is a cheese and honey pizza! With pine nuts!’ said Marisa.

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