Marisa half smiled.
‘But you gave me the keys.’
‘I know, but nobody’s seen you at all since Huckle did a couple of weeks ago and Alexei brought your parcel . . .’
‘Who’s Alexei?’
‘Your next-door neighbour.’
‘Oh,’ said Marisa, slightly abashed.
‘He’s nice,’ said Polly.
‘Okay,’ said Marisa. ‘But I’ve been here all along!’
Polly wiped her eyes, trying to pretend she hadn’t been crying at all.
‘What have you been living on?’
‘I get deliveries,’ said Marisa, fidgeting and uncomfortable with the conversation.
‘Oh,’ said Polly, whose lip looked like it was about to start wobbling again. ‘Well, if you ever want to, you know, support local businesses . . .’
Marisa felt ashamed.
‘Uh,’ she said. ‘it’s all very new. It’s been a big move, it’s been . . . quite difficult.’
Polly nodded.
‘Are you okay?’ said Marisa.
‘I’m . . .’
Polly was still cross at this person not buying her bread from her, but her face was so concerned and it was so exhausting, so very, very tiring having to keep up a cheery facade, day after day, not frighten her customers, maintain a cheery line of banter and happiness so as not to worry the twins, and this was the only person in the village she didn’t know, asking kindly and sincerely, and the temptation to unburden herself was almost overwhelming.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Marisa when it became clear Polly couldn’t go on. ‘I didn’t come to the bakery. I have a . . .’
It hurt, it really stung to say it out loud.
‘I have an anxiety disorder.’
There. It was done. The world did not, a part of her noticed, implode at her saying it.
‘And . . . sometimes it’s very hard for me to get out and about.’
‘Oh,’ said Polly again, instantly changing from resentment to empathy. She could only imagine. ‘Oh goodness, I am so sorry. That sounds tough.’
Marisa shrugged. ‘I can . . . I can still . . . do you want coffee?’
Polly found herself agreeing and following her in – partly out of nosiness. She was desperate to see one of Reuben’s chalets.
‘They’re really beautiful!’ she said. ‘Wow. Reuben can be a putz, but this is just lovely.’
‘I can’t believe he had trouble renting them,’ said Marisa.
‘Oh no, he didn’t; it’s just the stupid road.’
Polly’s eyes moved to the wall, where the plonking noise from the twins continued.