Page 30 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

‘Erm, no. We keep our relationship going with mutual respect and admiration for one another.’ Sophy thought quickly if the latter was true for her. Did she admire Jeff? She considered his successful estate agent business. And nice car.

Jeff put his fork down on his plate with too much force for Sophy’s liking. She had bought those plates in the John Lewis sale last year with one of her first sponsorship payments. She narrowed her eyes at Jeff.

‘You’ve been spending too much time with those new friends of yours. You said one of them was a lesbian, didn’t you?’ Jeff leant back in his chair.

‘And what does that mean?’

‘That she’s not, you know, getting it.’

‘I’m sure Aisha getsplenty ofit, Jeff. But I imagine, like me, she is feeling a little sore down there after giving birth to two babies.’

‘Twins? You didn’t say she had twins.’

‘I did, Jeff. I did.’

Jeff shrugged, and they both sat in silence for a few moments. Then just as Sophy was thinking of getting up to clear the plates, Jeff’s phone rang at exactly the same time as Max let out a piercing scream from upstairs. Jeff picked up his phone to answer it.

‘Don’t you dare, Jeff. It’s half past seven. You finished work over an hour ago.’ Sophy leant forward as Jeff tried to bat her away.

‘Work doesn’t finish just because I’m not in the office, Soph.’

‘But your son is crying.’ Sophy threw her hands open in despair.

‘Well, you’ll have to see to him, babes – I need to take this call.’

Jeff stood up and walked out of the back door, and as he closed it behind him, Sophy couldn’t be sure with the increasing volume of Max’s cries, but the way he answered the phone, the way in which he said, ‘Hello,’ was done in an endearing and familiar way. Not the way he would speak to his mother or a male friend or colleague, but someone who required a softer touch. A woman.

* * *

Sophy had been mulling over Jeff’s phone call as she had soothed Max back to sleep with a quick comfort feed and continued to stew over it as she sat in the bath. Once she was back in the bedroom, and Max was sound asleep in his SnuzPod, she dressed in some sexy loungewear, checked on Max again, made sure the monitor was on and then crept downstairs. Jeff was sitting in his joggers and T-shirt on the sofa, remote in hand.

He smiled at her as she came into the room.

‘I thought you were doing your Instagram thing.’

‘Not tonight.’ Sophy slipped into the space next to Jeff on the sofa. He lifted his arm up and around her, and she rested against the side of his chest. He began softly stroking her arm and side, occasionally his hand would land near to her breast and after a few times, when Sophy did not object, he finally slipped his hand up inside her T-shirt and began stroking her breast, moving slowly up to her nipple. Sophy felt a hint of desire and thought perhaps she could manage something if Jeff instigated it, which at this rate he most certainly would. It was a bit like going to the gym or doing a workout; the thought of it was worse than the actual act. Once she had done a workout, she was glad she had put in the effort and could tick it off for another few days. Sophy wondered if she succumbed to Jeff’s obvious desires, and her ever-so-slight pang, she could earn herself a few weeks of safety space. Jeff was so busy at work and usually so tired when he came home most days anyway that he was nowhere near as demanding as he used to be, so for him to be complaining was probably down to tiredness because when she thought about it, he hadn’t exactly instigated much beyond that first week after Max had been born. The more she considered it, the more irate she began to feel and then she wished she had not bothered making any effort as the aggravation began to consume her. Her mind swirled back to his tone on the phone earlier when he answered the call. Was she being paranoid?

The caressing moved closer to, and eventually onto, her nipple and Sophy gasped at his touch. Her nipple had become so sensitive since breastfeeding Max. Even still, when Max latched on, the first minute was pretty painful. But Jeff worked on, oblivious to Sophy’s squirms, which he seemed to interpret as enjoyment. He grabbed her right hand and placed it between his own legs – where she could feel the hot, throbbing heat – and began murmuring into her ear. Then he quickly moved her backwards, so she was lying down. He lifted up her top and began sucking on each breast so furiously that all Sophy could do was imagine Max in her mind’s eye. Nothing about it felt pleasurable. He then stood up and whipped down his joggers, then began working Sophy’s loungewear bottoms down.

‘Wow, I love these, babes,’ he murmured.

He put his hand between her legs, which Sophy knew would be dry – she was practically clenching her butt cheeks with fear of any pain that could come. Jeff licked his hand and put it back between her legs and then brought himself down and on top of her. He fiddled with himself for a second, trying to get to where he needed to be, and then finally, he slowly began pushing himself inside Sophy. Instantly, Sophy let out a scream and pulled herself backwards; Jeff popped out of her like a champagne cork.

‘What?’ Jeff looked down at her.

‘It hurts. I told you it would hurt.’ Sophy whipped on her loungewear bottoms.

‘Okay, I’ll be gentle.’

‘You can’t, Jeff. That’s the problem. It’s a penis, entering a healing vagina. A person came out of it a few weeks ago. It’s sore.’ Sophy wasn’t sure why it was taking so long – it was almost two months. Shouldn’t she be feeling much better down there by now?

‘Well, what am I supposed to do?’ Sophy looked at him, her boyfriend who she had once fancied so much, who now had an expression of a small boy who had been told he couldn’t have any more cake.

Then they both flinched as an ear-splitting scream came from through the monitor.

‘Shit, sorry – I had it turned up earlier when I was in the garden.’ Sophy leant over and turned it down.

Jeff looked at Sophy with doe eyes. ‘I can be quick. I won’t hurt you.’

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