Page 34 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

Once she was above ground again, she put the address into the maps app on her phone and followed the route.

It said a five-minute walk, so Mel set off at the fastest pace she could with the boot on. When Mel arrived at the ornate historic building and found the doors closed and locked, she felt a mixture of panic and relief. She could just walk back to the Tube and tell the girls she couldn’t get in. But they would have expected her to have called. So she banged hard on the door and waited a few minutes before knocking again. No one arrived. She had rushed out of the house without using the loo and had needed the toilet all the way on the Tube. Stress increased her need to pee, and now it was threatening to seep out. She looked around; it was an old historical building with well-pruned borders. She walked around the corner of the building to see if there were any other doors she had missed. Not even a doorbell. It was no good. She had to pee.

She ducked next to a bush. There wasn’t enough room for her to get right behind it, and it had been raining earlier so she didn’t want to get her boot wet on the damp soil. So, she crouched down, pulled her dress up, half her body hidden by a bush, the other half exposed, her leg cocked out a funny angle, and peed. Just as she was finishing up, she heard a voice calling. Mel pulled herself together and straightened her dress down just as a young woman with a neat black bob appeared at the corner of the building.

‘Oh hi!’ Mel said. ‘Do you work here?’ Mel started walking towards her relieved she might finally get inside.

‘Yes,’ the woman said. Even from a slight distance, it was obvious there was a stern look on her face. Mel was confused. Had she arrived at the right building? Or perhaps they were very strict on arrivals.

‘And did you hear me knocking on the door?’ Mel said.

‘No,’ the woman said. Mel arrived in front of her and could see the woman was indeed stony-faced.

‘Oh. Then how did you know I was out here?’ Mel said, slightly out of breath from her panic pee.

‘We have cameras.’ The grave-faced woman pointed to a camera on the wall of the building that was pointing downwards directly at where Mel had just been squatting quite unceremoniously. Mel looked back at the camera and then down at the little trickle of pee that had seeped out on the stone path. She felt her heart sink into her stomach.

‘Oh, great, fabulous. Thanks.’ Mel pulled her handbag tight over her shoulder and walked past the woman, round the corner and through the open door, her head held high; the mortification ripping through her body.

Inside the venue, chairs were tightly packed into a room on the right. The dark-haired woman appeared by Mel as she hung back in the foyer.

‘It’s that room through there,’ she said, and Mel was sure she looked her up and down in disgust as she spoke.

Mel ignored the woman’s austerity and the raging shame that was throbbing through her body – if there was one thing she had learned in the business they call ‘show’, it was to get up and slap a smile on no matter how shit you felt.

Mel stopped at the doorway, as standing at the front of the room behind a lectern was the man who she now knew to be her friend’s boyfriend. Jeff had that same swagger and confident manner about him even as he spoke about something as important and serious as elephants getting murdered for their ivory tusks. Mel took a deep breath and walked into the room. It was dark and cramped. Chairs were close together, but Mel spotted a seat at the end of a row. Everyone had to stand up to let her through and she apologised to the six strangers as she gave them a full view of her rear end as she scooched along to the empty seat. She got herself comfortable as quietly and with as little disruption as possible, then she sat very still and listened to Jeff speaking. She couldn’t see a compassionate conservationist, loving boyfriend and new father to a young baby, which she realised was what everyone else in the room saw. What Mel saw was a monster.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the lights were up, and everyone was making their way to the bar in the next room.

‘Mel.’ Aisha was waiting in the doorway to the foyer. She was wearing a blue floral dress that came to her knees with a black leather jacket and Doc Martens. They hugged.

‘You look lovely,’ Mel said. ‘Really fresh and trendy. I wish I could pull that off.’

‘Thank you. And you look lovely too. You really do. How are you? How’s the foot?’

Mel looked down at her boot, which was a complete eyesore in the long pink and red floral dress she was wearing. ‘Annoying me now. Where’s Sophy?’

Aisha looked towards the other room, which people were now making their way into. ‘Oh she’s off. Quite the socialite. She makes it look so easy. And with a baby in her arms as well.’

Mel nodded. Her gut tightened as she anticipated the meet-and-greet with Jeff.

‘There are nibbles too!’ Aisha said, like an excited child.

‘Oh great, perfect for a foodie like you then. I tell you what, I could do with a drink. Shall we?’ Mel motioned to the doorway.

Aisha hooked her arm into Mel’s, and they strode into the next room.

They took a glass of champagne each from the bar, and then made a beeline for Sophy as they spotted her working the room.

‘Mel, you’re here.’ Sophy greeted Mel with a hug and a kiss. Mel realised this was the first time that the three of them had greeted one another with kisses. It felt good.

Sophy was wearing a pink jumpsuit, and her blonde hair looked as if it had been blow-dried professionally. Max was in her arms, gurgling at the world around him.

‘Oh, look at him!’ Mel said, touching his little cheek, which was red and warm and soft.

‘I know, wide awake and taking it all in,’ Sophy said. ‘Thanks so much for coming. It means a lot. I know it’s bums on seats and all—’

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