Page 35 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

‘No,’ Aisha butted in. ‘It’s a really important cause. Jeff is such a great man for doing such a wonderful thing. You should be so proud. He’s a really good public speaker. Mel, did you hear his speech?’

‘I did,’ Mel said flatly. ‘It was really great,’ she added to Sophy, who grinned.

‘Well, it’s his thing. I am proud of what he does,’ Sophy said, but Mel felt her tone lacked enthusiasm. Sophy scanned the room. ‘Jeff’s about somewhere, I can introduce you. I know he’d love to meet you – I’ve spoken non-stop about you since we met for goodness’ sake.’

‘Don’t go out of your way, Sophy. This is Jeff’s night, he doesn’t need to be chatting with two shattered mothers,’ Mel said and Aisha laughed.

‘Does he know about our 3 a.m. club?’ Aisha said.

‘Erm, kind of, I have told him. I think…’ Sophy trailed off, quickly scanning the room. Mel was suddenly intrigued, interested in how vague Sophy sounded when she was speaking of her boyfriend. And was it her imagination, or did she seem a little on edge?

‘Does Charley approve of our 3 a.m. texts?’ Mel turned to Aisha.

‘Oh yes. She is just glad I have that connection, you know.’ Aisha took a long drink of her champagne and giggled. ‘This is my second glass already. It’s really nice.’

‘You knock yourself out, love,’ Mel said. ‘Not literally obviously.’ She touched Aisha’s arm.

‘Charley said I could go mad tonight too!’ Aisha said in a voice that was a few decibels louder than the one she usually spoke in.

‘Sounds like it’s doing its job already!’ Mel nodded and smiled.

‘Oh god, I’m sorry. I don’t really drink very often, not because I don’t like it, I do, I just haven’t been out that much since the twins got here.’

Mel patted Aisha’s arm reassuringly. ‘None of us have, love.’

‘Oh look, there’s Jeff,’ Sophy said, and Mel looked and saw Jeff walking towards them all. Her heart started pumping harder in her chest as images of how the next few minutes would play out swirled around in her mind. She took a long drink of her champagne, almost finishing the glass. ‘Jeff!’ Sophy shouted, and Jeff, who looked as though he might have taken a sudden swerve for the bar, stopped, and when he saw Sophy, he gave a quick nod and walked over.

‘Jeff, I want you to meet my friends,’ Sophy said with a wide smile – that Mel was struggling to invest in – plastered across her face.

‘The 3 a.m. Shattered Mums’ Club!’ Aisha said loudly and laughed at herself. Jeff smiled patiently. His silver suit was super shiny under the lights of the room and his blond hair was swept back off his face. Then he turned his attention to Mel, and she felt the weight of those piercing blue eyes.

‘This is Aisha and Mel!’ Sophy said enthusiastically as though she were a presenter on a family TV show and she might also add what they did for a living and where they came from.

Jeff leant over, took Aisha’s hand, and then to Mel’s horror, leant in and kissed the side of Aisha’s face gently. ‘It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard so much about you. Thank you so much for coming this evening.’ His voice was low and gravelly.

Aisha laughed again and took another drink of her champagne.

Then he turned back to Mel again, and Mel was certain she saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes, but she was more focused on the fear penetrating through her body and making its way down to her stomach. Her legs felt like heavy weights and every part of her body was screaming at her to run. She should just think of an excuse, run to the loo, anything, to escape from what was about to happen. Before Mel had time to think a moment longer, Jeff had his hand on her arm and had leant in and was brushing his lips against her cheek. The smell of his aftershave was nauseating. How was it possible, after all this time for him to still smell exactly the same? Scent is one thing that the brain holds on to the most and evokes the most memories. Daz had bought a similar-smelling aftershave recently, and Mel had insisted he throw it in the bin and blamed it on baby hormones.

Jeff drew back and his eyes scanned Mel’s face for another second. If he had recognised her, he had done a good job of disguising it, but Mel was certain she had given the game away. She could not seem to force her mouth into even a semi-smile.

‘Your glass is almost empty, Aisha. Why don’t we go and get you another drink?’ Mel took Aisha’s arm and began turning her back towards the bar to try and disguise any awkwardness.

‘Oh gutted, wish I could have one!’ Sophy called after them. And as she and Aisha walked to the bar, she could just hear Sophy hissing, ‘I know, Jeff, but I can’t. I’m bloody breastfeeding – how many times do I have to say it?’

At the bar, Mel ordered two more glasses of champagne. She looked around the venue. It was not the sort of place where she would have imagined someone like Jeff hosting an event. She knew he was the sort of guy who preferred locations with a bit more glamour; places he could flash his cash and people wouldn’t bat an eyelid. This venue was steeped in history and a little too conservative for the Jeff she had encountered.

‘Jeff is so nice, isn’t he?’ Aisha said. ‘This is such a great thing to do. I love charity stuff.’

Mel nodded and scanned the room, wondering how much longer she could get away with being here. She looked at Aisha, who was looking around the room and smiling at nothing; she was just happy to be here by all accounts, and Mel felt bad. Out of the three of them, Aisha always seemed to be the one who struggled the most with motherhood, with two tiny boys who she had to look after most of the time alone, and as a new mother, Mel had seen the shock and sadness in Aisha’s eyes and recognised the signs from when she had Leia. Of course, she hadn’t known she was suffering from post-natal depression then. It was three years later that she read something that described exactly how she had felt and acted during the first year of Leia’s life.

So she let this woman she had known for just a few short weeks enjoy the time away from her babies who were being cared for by another woman who loved them just as much and stayed by Aisha’s side, topping her up with water in between glasses of champagne – because if she could give any new mother a piece of advice, it would be don’t get inordinately pissed in the first place, but if you’re going to let your hair down after carrying two babies for nine months and then not sleeping for months, stay hydrated. The sickness doesn’t feel half as bad if your body has enough water inside it to counteract the alcohol levels. She didn’t bore Aisha with these facts; she would just hand her the water to drink like she was handing a sippy cup to a toddler.

Mel looked at her phone; it was just after 10 p.m. They’d been there long enough now. She decided she would get her and Aisha to the toilet and then get them both in an Uber, dropping Aisha off first.

Aisha was in deep conversation with a rather frail-looking elderly lady a few feet away and had been for some time, so Mel stepped over and took Aisha’s hand.

‘I’m going to get in a cab soon, and I think it’s best we share, so shall we nip to the loos first?’

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