Page 43 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

‘And now, ladies and gentlemen, she’s been away for a while, bringing another beautiful life into this world – is there no end to this woman’s talents? – please give the warmest of East End welcomes to the gorgeous, the brilliantly talented Melony Fortuna!’

The crowd let rip with finger whistles and foot stamps until Mel picked her way carefully out of the green room, across the hall and up the steps onto the stage.

The spotlight was on her immediately, and Mel went to flinch and duck away from it; it had been such a long time, she had forgotten the strength of it.

The noise of the crowd died down and Mel waited a few more seconds before she settled herself into her stool and arranged the microphone to her level.

‘Thank you so much, you wonderful bunch – you are so gorgeous, and I am absolutely thrilled to be back. Let’s start with this one shall we…?’

By the time the interval came around, Mel was officially back in her groove.

‘Darling, it’s as if you’ve never been away,’ Robbie said, and Mel basked in the praise as she had in the applause.

‘I have to admit, Rob, it does feel good.’ Mel rose from her seat at the bar and turned to go back to the stage but stopped dead in her tracks. She had presumed it had been some freak meeting when she had seen him that first time, that he had never really meant to be there that night, that he had accidentally stumbled into the bar with his drunk work colleagues. Because why would someone so vile frequent a place that was full of such positive energy and joyous rapture? The two just didn’t fit together. Yet there he was again, standing at the bar with the same bunch of goofy guys. Of course, he hadn’t stopped coming in all that time that Mel had been away, hiding at home from the very thing that gave her life. Mel had allowed him to dictate her life and control it, and now here he was as though nothing had happened. As though the filthy hands he had placed all over her, when she was carrying her beautiful baby inside, had not caused her to run away home and only now finally return.

Mel was certain she would not be able to get through the next set of songs, but she had told herself before she came tonight that if she saw him, she would not run again this time. She had nothing to be ashamed of. So, Mel settled herself back on her stool and during those last few seconds just before the house lights went down, he looked up and right at her, and she knew then he recognised her, that the night at the charity fundraiser had nudged something in his memory, but he had never quite located it. But now, as she sat in her get-up, he knew who she was. But Mel didn’t turn or look away. She locked eyes with Jeff Haddon right up until the lights faded to black.

* * *

3.25 a.m. – Aisha:Both boys are up and alert as anything! I’m supposed to be sleeping, but I can hear Charley down there talking to them. Should I go down and tell her to stop it? Aren’t babies supposed to start learning the difference between night and day? They can’t do that if Charley’s rabbiting on to them all night, can they?

3.35 a.m. – Sophy:I say leave her to it. Both parents do things differently. It’s just the way it is. Mind you, if that was my Jeff down there waxing lyrical into Max’s ear at this time, I’d want his head to make contact with a frying pan. I’d go for an aluminium though, not iron.

3.26 a.m. – Aisha:Well, that’s just it, it’s really winding me up. I can’t sleep thinking she should be at least trying to get them to sleep. They will never get into a routine at this rate. Surely, they will turn into night owls, hardly sleeping at night and falling asleep in the middle of the day at four years old! Oh god, I’m going to have to go downstairs, aren’t I?

3.28 a.m. – Mel:Aisha, can I give you some honest advice? Please stay where you are, close your eyes and try to sleep. Your boys won’t be ruined, and they will, one day, sleep all the way through the night and you will be dragging them from their beds.

3.30 a.m. – Aisha:Okay.

20

AISHA

Martina was unpacking Tupperware dishes of jerk chicken, goat curry and rice and peas onto the kitchen counter.

‘I’ll take those other Tupperwares back, if you got them?’ Martina scanned Aisha’s kitchen.

‘Yes.’ Aisha bent down and pulled four containers from the cupboard next to the sink, but before she could shut the door, Martina bent down and took a peek.

‘Girl, ya cupboards are messy! You ever think about clearing them out?’

‘I like to hold on to stuff, Mum – I never know when I might need them.’

‘Okay, whatever takes ya fancy.’ Martina tutted and pushed the full Tupperware boxes of food into the fridge.

‘You never keep stuff, stash it away and forget about it?’ Aisha said, daring herself to push it further, to say to her mother,I know, I know all about it, just from one letter, everything has changed.

‘Oh no, I know where everything is in my house. Thirty-six years I lived in that house, there ain’t no nook or cranny that gets left unnoticed by me.’

Perhaps, thought Aisha,you have forgotten to look under your bed for a while.

But she decided today was not the day.

Today was to be a happy day. It was early April, the weather was warming up. It was Charley’s thirty-eighth birthday, and they were taking a picnic to the park. It was the first time that Mel and Sophy would get to meet her, and Aisha was finding it hard to muster up the excitement she should be feeling that her new friends would soon be meeting her girlfriend for the first time. It had been just over one month since she had met Mel and Sophy outside the community hall, but it felt like a year. Aisha had met Jeff obviously, albeit in a rather messy state, so it would be nice to see him again to apologise for her inebriated state and then she would get to finally meet Daz, Mel’s husband. So, in light of what the day was representing, which was a lot of introductions and celebrations, Aisha knew deep down it wasn’t a day for confrontations. Martina had made a great effort just by being here and bringing meals for them for the week. She was also going to join them for the picnic. Martina had never spent time with Charley on her birthday in the seven years that Aisha and Charley had been together, so it was even more of a special occasion from Aisha’s perspective.

But now Aisha wished that she had prepared something more lavish for her beloved Charley. It had been a long time since they had really let their hair down, and she had put an array of ideas to Charley for ways they could celebrate from a kitchen disco to a big dinner out with friends. But Charley had requested a simple British picnic of sausage rolls, jam tarts and egg-and-cress sandwiches. Aisha said she could just about to stretch to that and somehow whilst the twins had a few hours’ sleep in the early part of the evening last night, she had managed to make the sausage rolls and sandwiches, but picked up some sticky buns and jam tarts from the local bakery.

‘How we getting this stuff down to the park then?’ Martina asked, looking around the kitchen for a suitable receptacle.

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