Page 58 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

Sophy lay her head onto Mel’s shoulder, then the two women heard ‘Hi’ and the commotion of a double buggy being positioned in the hallway. A few seconds later, a harassed-looking Aisha walked into the lounge carrying a small aloe vera plant in a green pot. ‘Happy moving-in day!’ She grinned as she held the plant out to Sophy.

‘Oh, thank you, Aisha, it’s gorgeous. Thank you, what a lovely gesture.’

‘Sorry, I only brought a cleaner,’ Mel said, wondering if she should have gone for the traditional moving-in gift as well.

‘Oh well, that is equally a fantastic gift. You’ve both been so helpful, I’m not sure I would have managed without you. It’s so strange. You’ve both been in my life just a few months, but it feels like I’ve known you all my life.’ Sophy looked like she was going to well up, and so Mel moved in and put an arm around her. Aisha took the other side and the three women hugged silently for a few seconds.

‘I find dead mouse in kitchen, where would you like it?’ Ksenia’s voice penetrated through the silence.

Mel let go of Sophy and looked up at the doorway to the lounge, where Ksenia was holding a very rigid dead mouse.

‘Oh Christ, let’s get that thing out of here.’ Mel moved quickly to the doorway and escorted Ksenia to the kitchen and out of the back door, which led to a side alleyway where the bins were kept.

‘Do you think we can throw it over the fence?’ she asked, but before she got a response, Ksenia flung the mouse with such force it landed in the guttering of the neighbouring house.

‘Yuck, filthy things.’ Ksenia wiped her hands on her jeans. ‘Now I clean shit off toilet.’ And she walked back into the flat, leaving Mel still staring at the mouse’s final resting place.

* * *

‘This place is lovely, Mel. How did you know it was here?’ Sophy said about the café they found themselves sitting outside later that afternoon. The babies were tucked into their prams, all miraculously asleep at the same time. The walk down had sent them all off and the fresh breeze and the gentle hum of traffic was thankfully keeping them asleep.

‘I know all the best places to eat. Daz and I have friends who live around South Lambeth.’

Sophy shook her head as she cut into her panini. ‘I never thought I would find myself living in South Lambeth, of all places. I know it seems really close to Clapham – and Jeff – still, but it was you two I was actually thinking of. We are still reasonably close to one another’s houses and that’s how I wanted it to be. You two aren’t going anywhere for a while, so I had to plant myself nearest to you. I could walk to Aisha’s from here, but I’d probably jump on a train to you Mel, or drive.’

‘It’s great, Sophy. You made a good choice, and this place is pretty metropolitan. I mean look, that bloke has a very well-groomed beard and is wearing his baby,’ Mel said helpfully.

The other two girls looked across the road to where Mel was pointing and nodded enthusiastically.

‘Are you trying to set me up already?’ Sophy laughed.

‘No,’ Mel said. ‘But I’m pretty sure it won’t be too long until someone comes and nabs you up.’

Sophy shook her head. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said in a tone that didn’t altogether sound convincing.

‘Unless you have your eye on someone already?’ Mel said inquisitively.

Sophy looked her square in the eye, and for a second, she saw straight into her, and Mel knew there was someone. Sophy, who she had only known a couple of months, occasionally looked as though she were sharing a secret with herself. She would suddenly seem far away, but not in a mourning-the-loss-of-her-live-in-lover kind of way. And Mel was curious. But she didn’t want to push anything or force Sophy to discuss something she wasn’t yet ready to discuss yet. At least let her side of the bed at Jeff’s go cold before she encouraged Sophy to move on with her life. Her so very precious life that had already been stalled by four years living with that utter creep and moron. If it weren’t for the beautiful Max – who in Mel’s opinion took after Sophy in every way – then she would have said the last half a decade of Sophy’s life had been a complete waste of time.

‘Well, we are in London, baby. Anything can happen, remember? There are hundreds of eligible suitors ready to cross paths with you.’

‘Yes, and we will help you make sure he is absolutely perfect.’ Aisha smiled kindly at Sophy.

Sophy looked down at her hands and into her coffee cup. And there it was again, that slight faraway look, as though she was there already. Mel was desperate to know, but she knew when to step back and allow someone space. She was just so looking forward to Sophy finally spilling all. For why shouldn’t someone as beautiful and talented as Sophy not get her happy-ever-after? Mel would be there to make sure – in a subtle and not too overpowering way – that Sophy never made a colossal mistake like getting with a buffoon like Jeff ever again. But like she said, subtle.

‘I know I’ve said it a few times, but I am so grateful I met you. It has been like fate in so many ways,’ Sophy said. ‘I don’t know any of my other mates who I would feel comfortable texting at three o’clock in the morning. It’s so weird that we just started doing that and none of us questioned it.’

‘Can I say that it is the part of the day I look forward to the most?’ Aisha said. ‘I mean I know I have dinner with Charley and I see my mum, and yes the twins are fun in small measures. But when I wake up in those early hazy hours, I no longer feel panicky or stressed. I know I can just message the group and there’s a good possibility that one of you will be awake as well. I feel so lucky!’ Aisha’s voice broke at the last word and Mel, who was on her right, reached out and grabbed her hand.

‘The truth is, I’ve been struggling,’ Aisha said quietly. ‘I tried so many times to say it on the chat, but it was too scary to just put it out there and not get a response for a few hours.’

‘Oh, Aisha, I understand why you haven’t said anything. I feel so guilty I’ve been wrapped up in this Jeff thing for weeks and I haven’t thought about anyone else,’ Sophy said.

‘I’m sorry too. I think we, both me and Sophy, maybe knew that things were potentially tougher for you. And we should have reached out more, but I guess we didn’t want to presume.’ Mel looked at Sophy, who nodded in agreement.

‘Oh, but you have helped, by being there at 3 a.m., like I said. Just knowing I had you girls there to talk to has lifted such a weight off. It has taken me a while, but I don’t feel as lonely any more and that helps me through the days. I don’t dread the nights now.’

‘I think it’s what brought us so close so quickly,’ Sophy said ‘Our early-morning chats. Because we are at our most raw at that time of the day, we are doing the most primal thing possible: feeding our babies, keeping them alive through the night, they have only us to rely on. So when we message, we are in fact the most authentic version of our true maternal selves.’ Sophy stopped speaking and looked at Mel and Aisha who were both looking at her with their lips slightly parted, as though they felt that they should say something, but Mel knew she had nothing to top that.

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