Page 61 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

Sophy felt the rush of adrenaline through her body. She was done with crying; she was now moving on to rage. How could he move on so fast? Replace the mother of his son as though four years together had meant nothing? And then Sophy remembered, the hushed phone call with the gentle tone, and she thought of Mel and how she had been treated as though it was something Jeff was acclaimed at. She remembered, she had not been replaced quickly; she had been given a get-out-of-jail-free card and saved herself from a lifetime of loveless toxicity.

* * *

When Sophy walked through into the kitchen, she was taken aback to see Niall sitting in there on the half-finished floor. Next to him, the walls of an almost-completed extension of two further downstairs rooms, the garden she had sat in time and time again now half the size.

‘I can’t believe you’ve almost finished,’ Sophy said.

‘Hello, stranger,’ Niall said, getting to his feet and coming over to Sophy. He moved awkwardly towards her as though he might lean in and kiss or hug her hello, and for a heart-stopping second, she thought he might, and Sophy felt panic spread through her body wondering how she should react.

‘How are you doing?’ Niall said, his face brighter than she had ever seen it. Had he missed her? She had thought about him, she had to admit, but she overthought everything so much – Were her feelings for him real? Was he just a bit of eye candy when Jeff wasn’t around? How would he fit into her life? – until eventually she had begun to dismiss the idea completely. Until now. As she stood in front of him after weeks apart, she felt her chest rising and falling, trying to keep up with her rapidly beating heart and racing thoughts.

‘And how’s the wee man?’ Niall put his arms out, and to her surprise, Sophy found she freely handed him over to Niall, as though it was perfectly normal. Niall lifted him gently to his eye level and said, ‘There he is – I missed that little face.’ Then he expertly turned him outwards to face Sophy and held him in the crook of his arm.

‘Wow, you’re really good with babies.’

‘You know I have a lot of nieces and nephews.’

‘Wow, but how many?’

Niall looked up to the sky, squinted and screwed up his face. ‘Like ten so far. There will be more to come, I’m sure of it.’

‘That’s amazing. And do you get them all presents for their birthdays and Christmas?’

‘Hell no – I’m not made of bleedin’ money. They get one small present each at Christmas.’

‘That’s lovely,’ Sophy said and made a point of moving in towards Max to kiss and nuzzle him, even though he was absolutely fine in Niall’s arms.

‘How’ve you been?’

Sophy smiled and nodded. ‘Not bad, considering. Bit of a mess, really.’ She looked around the kitchen awkwardly.

‘Ay, I didn’t know too much about it except when Jeff said you weren’t coming back.’

‘Yeah, sorry about that. Should have said goodbye, really, but I kind of rushed out and didn’t want to make a thing of it.’

‘I gathered.’ Max made a little gurgle and a squeak and Niall moved him up and down a little.

‘It was all pretty ugly.’

‘But you’re all settled somewhere now?’

‘Yep, got a two-bed flat a couple of miles away.’ Sophy wasn’t sure why she didn’t say where it was she was now living. It was as if saying it might imply she wanted him to know where she was.

‘Oh right. And you’ve settled in okay?’ Sophy felt herself cringe at the momentous amount of small talk, something she was terrible at, but at which others seemed to thrive. Niall had always been good at filling uncomfortable gaps in conversations and always seemed to have something to say.

‘It’s a really nice flat. I was lucky to get it at the price I did. I think we’ll be okay there for now.’

‘And you’re managing all right? Got someone putting up shelves?’

Sophy laughed and instantly felt what Niall meant. ‘I don’t have any shelves.’

‘Got yourself a couple of nice pictures there in the hallway.’

‘Oh, yes, I wanted to put them up here, but… I never did.’

‘I’ll put them up for ya if you like?’

Sophy laughed. ‘I could probably do them myself.’

---