Page 62 of The 3am Shattered Mums' Club

‘I’m sure you could, modern woman like yourself, but I’d like to. There is actually quite an art to putting up pictures,’ Niall said, a small smile playing across his lips.

‘Oh, is there now?’

‘It’s true, I actually learned it at college. So, if you want, I can come and do it?’

Sophy looked at him and allowed herself to take him all in. His tall frame that wasn’t as broad as Jeff’s, his tanned arms, his rough stubble and short light brown hair. Sophy had never asked how old Niall was, but she put him about her age. Not eight years older than her, like Jeff.

Sophy thought about the wasted years, the tube of moisturiser upstairs that wasn’t hers, waiting for its accomplices to come and join it. She thought of the times she had asked Jeff to make her an official part of his life yet how she had never brought up marriage, as though she knew that their relationship would not last, and that marriage would be a whole other obstacle to tackle when the inevitable happened. Then she thought of the despicable way Jeff had forced himself on Mel and how, if she had been a woman of a slighter stature, she may not have been able to fight off his advances. She worried if that had already been the case and that maybe there had been other victims. These were things she had been thinking about non-stop for weeks and she realised that now, maybe it was time to stop thinking about them and give herself a chance at happiness. Even if it were fleeting, even it was only to make herself feel better in the short term, because the reality was, men didn’t just show up, fall in love with their client’s girlfriends and become a new daddy to their baby.

Did they?

* * *

3.27 a.m. – Sophy:I just realised that it doesn’t hurt down below any more.

3.48 a.m. – Mel:‘Vagina’, Sophy, you can say ‘Vagina’.

3.49 a.m. – Sophy:Okay, sorry. Yes, that word. It seems to all be feeling a lot better.

3.50 a.m. – Mel:I put it down to the fact that you’re not with Jeff any more. You’re a lot less stressed, so I guarantee the healing process just sped up these last few weeks.

3.51 a.m. – Sophy:Do you know what, Mel? I think you might be right.

3.52 a.m. – Mel:I know I’m right.

4.01 a.m. – Aisha:Congratulations on your vagina, Sophy! x

28

MEL

‘She went down absolutely fine,’ Irene said as she came back into the kitchen, having just put Sky to bed for her afternoon nap. It was a few weeks after Sophy had moved into the new flat and Mel was standing at her kitchen window, looking at Leia and her ‘friend, Mum, not my boyfriend’ sitting on the grass with her. His name was Henry. He looked like a nice enough young boy – he was polite, and Leia laughed a lot when she was with him. Mel sighed and thought about what lay ahead for her with Leia, and how she worried about the choices she would make as she grew up.

‘I don’t know how I’m going to manage it,’ Mel said to herself, but Irene joined her at the window and looked out into the garden.

‘She’ll be fine. She’s strong and clever like her mum.’ Mel looked at Irene.

‘Thank you for raising a wholesome strong man in Daz.’

‘Ahh, he was no bother. He was such a funny, charming little kid from such a young age. It was and still is a pleasure to be his mum.’ Irene looked at Mel. ‘Don’t worry, you’re doing a great job.’

Mel breathed in slowly and looked back out the window again.

‘Am I? Sometimes I wish there was a rule book, some format to stick to so you knew your kid was going to grow up and be okay in the world without you.’ Mel heard her voice break on the last word, and Irene put an arm around her waist and pulled her into her. Mel thought they must have looked a funny pair, her at almost six foot and Irene at a diddy five foot five. Mel dared not lean her weight against Irene for fear of flattening her.

‘Your mum would have been so proud of all your achievements. I know you struggle without her sometimes.’

Mel nodded, and a little tear trickled down her face. She quickly wiped it away. ‘How can it have been so long yet I still yearn for her?’

‘Because you never stop wanting your mum, no matter how old you get. And that girl out there, she might think she’s nearly an adult, but she’ll be turning to you for the rest of her life for love and support and advice.’

Mel closed her eyes and sighed. ‘Thanks, Irene.’

‘You’re welcome, dear. Are you looking forward to tonight?’

‘I am. Daz can finally see me perform after all this time.’

‘And your friends are coming too, aren’t they?’

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