Page 40 of The Beach Holiday

She breathed out loudly as though she had been holding in her breath all this time. ‘I need you to help me with the men. Together we can do this, Sadie.’ She grabbed my face in her hands. ‘And I think you need this too.’

29

THEN

That night, Avril let me cook, even though it wasn’t my turn. The camp was a washout, and Mary, Precious and a couple of other women helped restore it. Branches and leaves were cleared away, a fresh fire was built, and before long, the place looked like its old self.

I prepared fish in silence, despite the company of women around me, mulling over everything I had heard from Avril that afternoon.

I couldn’t quite get my head around what I had seen and heard that afternoon. Whenever I thought of the men caged up, skinny and tired and all with that look of hopelessness that I had seen in the one man that first week, I felt sick. I managed to smile and make small talk but their faces would not leave my mind.

I tried to take in the enormity of the situation. The reality of where I was living and who I was now sharing the island with,but it just felt too big for me. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stay let alone assist Avril with prison duties. What exactly had Avril seen in me? Was it merely that I was wearing what I presumed were invisible wounds and that she could see them? Did the abuse I suffered at the hands of my boyfriend make me an ideal candidate for prison duties?

I looked around me and realised I had forgotten to grab the spices I was going to use in the fish curry. Some good ones had come in recently and I thought I would spice things up; the more I poured myself into cooking the less impact the caged men had on my mind. But I knew it was only going to be temporary and the second I had stopped distracting myself, they would be back at the forefront of my mind.

In the larder, I felt her presence even before I turned around. It was Kali.

‘Ah my favourite chef,’ she said.

My hand reached for a bag of herbs. My heart was thumping a little faster than normal and then out of nowhere, an image of the spear through Clara’s foot came at me fast. I grabbed awkwardly at the bag, nearly knocking a neighbouring bag off the shelf.

‘Oh be careful, Sadie, these are expensive. We can’t go wasting precious stock.’ Kali reached for the teetering bag of saffron and pushed it back.

I looked at Kali for a moment, wishing Clara were here, but she was not. As the weeks passed, I realised that the shock of seeing Clara with that spear through her foot had prevented me from ever really asking some serious questions.

‘What happened on the beach, Kali?’

Kali recoiled, her expression set hard, and she began to bite her lower lip.

Then her eyes narrowed.

‘You need to watch yourself,’ she hissed. I realised our time together in her hut making knots had been a one-off. She still had something against me.

‘Why, because I might end up with a spear through my foot?’ I snapped back.

‘I am famished,’ Precious announced as she appeared next to us. I took a step back from Kali and smiled at Precious.

‘So what’s on the menu tonight?’ Kali said, her voice as light as air.

‘A fish curry, with rice, and sweet potato and tomato salad.’ I played along.

‘You’re quite the gourmet, aren’t you? But I knew you would have talents,’ Kali replied.

‘She is,’ Precious agreed as she took down some bread from the shelf. ‘I won’t let it ruin my appetite.’ She smiled sweetly and skipped away.

Kali watched, and once Precious was far enough away, she swung her head back to me.

‘Don’t think because Avril has asked you to assist her that you are something special ...’ Kali’s voice had lost the lightness it had a moment ago.

I let out a sigh.

‘And now you know our little secret. I hope you’ll behave and play by the rules.’

I snapped my head at her. ‘What do you mean, Kali?’ I said, a tide of aggression growing in my voice.

Kali looked stunned. She hadn’t expected me to respond that way.

‘Those men, they’re not here for our entertainment.’

---