Page 28 of Shadow and Smite

I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stay. I had to go.

My departure had to be silent. I couldn’t bear to wake Rhett and say goodbye so soon after our reunion. So, munching on a heel of bread, I quietly gathered my belongings.

There was a new pack next to my armor. Rhett knew me too well, knew I wouldn’t say goodbye. Instead, he’d left a note.

Ayla, darling, please take this. There’s food and coin inside. Shops open at sunrise, buy what you need. I always carry my speaking stone—please let me know when you’re safe. Forever your prince, Rhett.

A sob escaped me, followed by a swallowed scream of frustration. My whole body shook, and I fell, stumbling to my knees. Rhett had known the perfect farewell gift: a private exit.

The dog snored, falling back asleep. The sound resonated for a moment. He snored again.

I was truly alone. No one to perform for, and no need to act. My body quivered in the vacuum, and I began to shake.

I’d been running for so long. First from my family, and then from Zayne. Last night I’d danced, fleeing my fears. In the dark before dawn, the shaking subsided, and I finally held still.

I had so little control over my life. I’d lost everything. I’d gained a Brand. A Firewolf. An unexplained brightness. Everything was confusing and awful, beautiful and new.

I shuddered one last time. When had the tears begun to fall? They covered my cheeks.

I gulped, drowning. The air was too thick.

My next breath was sticky, and I tried again. With each breath, my lungs moved more smoothly.

For so long, I’d worked toward this freedom. First planning this escape with Rhett, but balking before starting. Then my rushed decision to flee, running from what Mariana had done—whatIhad done.

I’d been so focused on the act of reaching a damn fiddle bar, the fantasy of putting responsibilities on hold, that I had forgotten what I really wanted.

Freedom.I had longed to leave my royal role and become someone fae. Fate brought me Zayne.

I didn’t want to join Zayne because I had no better ideas. If I joined him, it had to be because I wanted to.

It was tempting to stay here, to wallow in dancing and drink until the Brand took me. It could be fun to ignore my problems.

Avoidance was a persona I knew well, trapped in the palace, losing myself in training and nightlife. I was skilled at ignoring discomfort. I was familiar with wrestling a cage.

It was a cage I needed to melt down and destroy. I had hesitated, afraid of being burned.But I did it anyhow.Now I stood on the Isles of Fae. My first step had already been taken.

Sure, I didn’t have great options, but my odds weren’t bad with Zayne. I had to be smart. He couldn’t be trusted, not completely.

I trusted the Firewolf. Despite her absence at Mariana’s ball, she had destroyed the Shades.

And I trusted the oaths Zayne had made. He had cleverly joined his quest with my desires. The Firewolf. The ashflower. The longer I thought about it, the deeper my hunger grew.

Maybe this could even be fun. Vanessa was a delight. My Firewolf would send a turtle. And through it all, Zayne would be at my side. Alluring and playful. Aggravating and presumptuous. Adventuring with him would be challenging; it would be exciting.

If I traveled with him, he would reapply the ashflower. He would touch the space above my heart, pulling the darkness from me. The memory of last time stuck to the back of my throat, thick with his scent.

I had the Brand, but I still had a choice. I couldn’t change what had happened, but I could choose my response.

My choice was a fragment of power, so small it was easy to dismiss, but it was mine. I claimed it.

I sat there, steeling myself, for a long time. I gathered courage like a shield. At some point, the sun rose. The light was slow to start, but soon, the room was no longer dark.

I rolled my shoulders, preparing for adventure. My body knew what to do.

Zayne.I was ready for him.

He made me hunger; he made me hurt. This prince had seen something in me I failed to find in myself.

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