Page 98 of Shadow and Smite

What did I really want? I longed to breathe.

Only a week had passed since I escaped my murderous sister. Twice, I had battled Shades. I had survived the Brand and found Ninti.

When I first planned my escape to the Isles of Fae, I had seen myself as a fiddle bar regular. In that fantasy, no Firewolf entered my life and there was no father to be found—these were desires I could surrender. Instead, I would have unlocked common magic and explored a simple life. A part of me still wanted that escape.

Yet now, with my magic, I had found a well of songs. On this quest, I found the courage to stop running. Ninti chose me, and I embraced my power. Did I still want that simple life?

Could I walk away from my feelings for Zayne? He had spoken of a tether. I feared it—I felt it.

“I want to be with you,” I whispered.

Zayne’s lips twisted, torn between a smile and a frown. “You’ve barely seen the Isles. I don’t want to trap you here.” He thought on it another moment. “If we’re staying together, I’m taking you to Mer.”

It sounded wonderful. “I’d like that.”

“Zayne, you’re staying with me,” Eleanor objected. “I order it.”

“No. I want to show Ayla our world.”

Eleanor huffed. “What has happened to you?”

“What has happened tome? Thanks to Ayla, I returned from the dead.”

“She’s the one who used up the ashflower to begin with!”

Zayne faced his sister. “Ayla is also the one who used the Brand to track you. She’s the one who fought the Shades while you completed the rite. Moreover—” he held my gaze “—Ayla has inspired me to live.”

“Live?” Eleanor motioned to her newly claimed throne. “What is life compared to duty?”

Zayne traced his fingers over my hand. “Before Ayla, I was willing to die for our cause. A duty I had inherited. For the first time, I’m inspired. Eleanor, it’s not that I don’t care for you or our people. It’s that I value my life too. Ayla and I can help you by visiting Mer.”

His talk of duty moved me. It was a motivation I lacked, a bastard daughter with no true role to play.

Technically, that wasn’t true.

I was the bastard princess of Valterra, fully aware how fae goods had changed our world. By destroying the Shades and opening the trade route, many would benefit from what we’d accomplished.

I could be proud of that. Was that duty?

“We won’t leave until you’re safe,” I told Eleanor, rushing to say it before my idea scared me. “Zayne and I won’t leave until you’re secure.”

I hadn’t imagined it was possible. A compromise like this. I could travel the Isles while we uncovered the mystery of the shard bearers. Now that Zayne committed to me, it was easier to support his responsibilities.

Because Eleanor was right, she needed protection.

“You have speaking stones?” I asked Zayne. “Can you reach those you trust?”

He nodded.

“Let’s help Eleanor establish herself. Once she’s secure, we will visit Mer.”

Eleanor glanced at me, surprise shining behind her otherwise impassive demeanor. “Can you communicate with Ysandra and Terren?” she asked her brother.

Zayne nodded.

“Ask them to be my personal guards.” She considered another moment. “And if you can reach Indigo, I think his shadow-binding skills will help us rebuild faster.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

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