Page 110 of Ace My Heart

“You want to go out and do something tonight?” Joel asked me once we were back in the apartment. I dumped my bags inside the door and went straight to the lounge, flicking on the TV and finding the most mindless thing on: some reality show about a bunch of girls vying for the affections of an obscure European Prince. I shook my head vaguely, not taking my eyes off the TV. Not wanting to look at him.

“But you go out if you want, Joel. Don’t feel like you need to entertain me.”

Joel plonked himself on the lounge beside me, close enough that his shoulder touched mine. I stiffened, shifting to put some space between us.

“Do I smell bad?” he asked, turning the full force of his baby blues on me. I pursed my lips, shaking my head again.

“Relax then. I won’t bite.” He patted the space I’d just vacated at his side. If I didn’t move back, he’d only shuffle over towards me, so I complied. My arm tingled with heat where his skin met mine, and I felt far too warm and achy in places that weren’t supposed to be reacting to Joel.

I focussed entirely on the TV then, on two contestants who were having a slanging match about who the Prince kissed first.

Joel snorted. “I can’t understand why anyone wants to go on these shows,” he said with a shake of his head. I turned to look at him out of the corner of my eye. “I mean,” he continued, “do theyactually think this Prince is going to fall in love with either of them?”

I shrugged. “People have fallen in love in stranger ways,” I muttered.

Joel turned towards me. “Were you in love with Grant?” he asked me suddenly. I wasn’t expecting the question. I bit my lip and tried to focus on his words and not his big, warm body pressed against my side.

“I thought I was back then,” I replied thoughtfully. “But, looking at it now, I don’t think it was real love. How does anyone know at that age whether they’re in love or not? He made me feel special. So when everything went down with him and Susie … I thought I was heartbroken. But now, I think what I was feeling was humiliation.”

“So, not Grant. Have you ever been in love then?” he persisted. Again, I paused, all too aware of his arm on the back of the sofa behind my head.

I shrugged. “Who else have I had a chance to fall in love with?” I asked. “Why are you so interested anyway? Haveyouever been in love?”

Joel eyed me cheekily. “I’ve been far too busy having great sex to fall in love.”

I grimaced. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had feelings foranyof the women you’ve been with,” I grunted in disbelief.

Joel sobered up. “I didn’t say that. I’ve got a lot of affection and respect for most of the women I’ve slept with. But no, I haven’t been in love with any of them.”

“Not Princes of Lion Girl?” I asked slyly. Joel’s mouth tweaked up at one corner and he shook his head.

“What about Julie?” I forced myself to ask.

Joel sighed. “No, I’m not in love with Julie, Stink. We’re just friends.”

“Ah, the good old fuck-buddy,” I grouched. Joel shook with silent laughter.

“So, if you’ve never been in love with anyone you’ve slept with,” I said thoughtfully, “what about women youhaven’tslept with – there has to be a few of us scattered around.”

Joel loomed over me, his bulging arms caging me in. “Any time you want, Mel, I’ll change you over to the other list.”

I rolled my eyes, worried that if I opened my mouth, I would just tell him to go right ahead and have his way with me. Have every possible way with me. I took a couple of deep breaths until I was calm again.

“Sure, Joel, but beware, my kink is kissing and running.”

Joel chuckled but didn’t move away from me. His hand came down off the back of the sofa and touched my hair.

“Stink, if I kissed you, there is no way you would want to run.”

I really should be running now. I shoved roughly at his torso while I still had a shred of resolve left. He barely budged.

“Get off me you sleaze!” I whined. Joel laughed again and flopped back beside me. We sat in silence for a few moments – Joel apparently absorbed in the never-ending bitch fight on the prince show. Me sulking, wondering how much longer I was going to be able to hold off against him.

“I’ve been in love before,” Joel murmured out of the blue.

I turned and gaped at him. “Really?” I asked incredulously.

His eyes met mine. “Yep.”