Page 120 of Ace My Heart

Something had occurred to me on the plane, as I lay awake trying to sort through the tangle of emotions I was feeling. I hadn’t said anything to Joel about it yet, because of his weird mood. But I had to raise the issue sooner or later. Preferably sooner.

I spent the next ten minutes working up the courage to blurt it out. By that stage we were in the hire car.

I was just about to open my mouth and let the words come out however they would, when Joel tugged at my elbow and pointed out the window.

“Look, Stink, you’re as big as a building!” he joked.

I leaned over him – he didn’t try to touch me inappropriately, which disappointed me greatly (much to my embarrassment) – and looked in the direction of his finger.

There was the billboard; it was the first Dudz ad that I’d seen. Iwasas big as a building, but so was Joel. I was leaning against him, one of his hands was gripping the back of my thigh, just below my butt. My hand was braced on the wall beside his head, and in our other hands we were both holding tennis racquets loosely by our sides. Like tennis was forgotten because we’d found each other.

Fuck. It was the hottest Dudz ad I’d ever seen.

There was a caption underneath that read,“On and off court, I play to win” (Mel Black, 22, professional tennis player).Then there was another line right at the bottom:Dudz – for any game you like to play

I leaned back. “I don’t remember saying that,” I grumbled.

Joel smirked. “You probably didn’t – Georgie’s job is to come up with marketing gold like that.”

Oh, Georgie, I’d forgotten about her. Another one of Joel’s conquests. Well, I’d just joined that list. My sudden, searing jealousy gave me the strength to ask the next question.

“So, should I go get tested?” I asked.

Joel looked at me curiously. “Tested for what?”

I took a deep breath. “STIs. I couldn’t help but notice that wehad unprotected sex the other night.” Many times. “Birth control isn’t an issue, but do I need to go and get tested?”

I felt sick asking the question, but I knew that as a responsible adult I had to. Well, while on the subject, if I was a responsible adult, I wouldn’t have had unprotected sex with Joel. I probably shouldn’t even have had sex with him at all. But my brain and my body weren’t keeping close company these days.

Joel gave me a thoughtful look. Well, at least he wasn’t mad at me for bringing it up. He took a few deep breaths before he answered me, and he refused to look at me, instead staring down at his hands like he’d suddenly discovered the face of Jesus etched into his palm.

“I’ve never had unprotected sex before, Mel. I should have been prepared, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t planning on having any sex while we were in England. I’ve been tested before and it’s always come back clear. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get tested, but I think that if you did it would be all clear.”

Was it wrong that I believed him? Was I being naive? I didn’t think he would lie to me about this.

“When was the last time you were tested?” I asked.

Joel continued to stare at his hands. “When we got back from Europe,” he replied quietly.

I inhaled deeply through my nose. “Of course you did, after the little one-night stand inourhotel room in Rome!” I snapped. I had no right to be furious with him, but I was. I turned and looked out the window, pointing my whole body away from his.

“Yes, Mel, after that one-night stand. Don’t you act all high and mighty about it – ten seconds on Google and I can remind you aboutyourone-night stand.”

I turned back to him and gave him a withering look. “That wastwonights,” I snapped.

Joel laughed sarcastically, leaning back against the seat. “Yeah, because that makes all the difference, doesn’t it, Stink?”

I hated that he was right – I was in no position to be judging him over his indiscretions. And that just made me all the angrier with him.

“So, anyway, I was tested just after Rome and I haven’t been with anyone else since then, so you should be okay.”

I eyed him sharply. “You haven’t had sex in the last two months?” I asked in disbelief. Joel shook his head, his eyes sliding away from mine once more.

“Not even Julie?” I persisted.

Joel hesitated, then shook his head. “Not even Julie.”

The anger in me deflated somewhat, and I collapsed back against the seat.

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