Page 134 of Ace My Heart

Brad nodded. “Unlikesomepeople, I keep my promises.”

I flushed, finally remembering the calls that I hadn’t returned. Had it only been earlier that day that I’d had a conversation with Amanda about it? It felt like weeks ago, so much had happened to me in the last few hours.

“Listen, Brad, I’m really sorry. It’s been so hectic for me the last couple of weeks. It really has! I’m not kidding. I was going to call you this evening.”

Brad’s cold face shifted, softened, his grey eyes concerned. “Mel, I’ve been really worried about you. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me to give you space, when all I want is to …” his voice trailed away.

I stared at him hard. “What do you want, Brad?” I prompted, although I had a feeling this was not a conversation I wanted to be having right now.

Brad stood up swiftly and moved onto the lounge beside me, his eyes earnest as they locked with mine. “I love you, Mel. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. All through high school, I had to watch you with that douche Grant Johnson, and wonder what you saw in him. The last year has been amazing, you were single, I felt like I could have more of you.

“But it’s not enough for me anymore. I need you, Mel, I want all of you.”

I gaped in shock. He stopped talking and looked at me expectantly. I supposed he was waiting for me to answer.

I had no idea what to say.

“I … I can’t … Brad, I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with this right now.” I shook my head, looking down at my lap, afraid he’d read in my eyes the reason why I couldn’t deal with it.

“Why not?” His voice was bitter. I should look him in the eyes, tell him the truth. But I couldn’t.

“I just … can’t.”

I heard the breath hiss through his teeth. “It’s Joel, isn’t it? Damn it!”

I sneaked a look up at him then, shocked at the fury in his voice. Shocked that he’d worked it out.

“No! It’s not Joel! I’m just … not in a place to be startinganythingright now.”

“Don’t lie to me! I’m not blind, Mel! I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen the wayyoulook athim! He’s not in love with you, Mel. He just wants you to think that you have feelings for him so that he can get you into his bed!”

I swallowed the hard lump that was forming in my throat. Somehow hearing my own deep-seated fear voiced out loud by someone else made it a thousand times more painful.

“I’m not in love with Joel,” I muttered, but the words lacked conviction.

“Oh Christ, Mel, youarein love with him! How could you be sostupid?” Brad grated out, taking my hand from my lap and squeezing it. I snatched it away from him and stood up. Time to be honest.

“I don’t know! I don’t know why I feel like that about him! But I can’t switch it off you know! Just like I can’t magically make myself feel things for you that aren’t there! Believe me, Brad, it’s just not there for me. I’m sorry that it is for you, but it would be wrong of me to lead you on. That’s why I haven’t returned your calls …

“I know I should have told you earlier, but I just … couldn’t find the right words. I’m probably using all the wrong ones now, but I can’t lie anymore.”

Brad stood up and folded his arms across his chest. “Have you slept with him?” he asked quietly, dangerously.

“What?”

“Have. You. Slept. With. Him?” he grated.

I took a step away. “Uh …” I stammered, “that’s none of your business!”

Brad slammed the palm of his hand against his forehead, as if he were trying to knock loose some horrible image inside his mind.

“Of course you have!” He glared icily at me. “When? Before the night we kissed?”

I took another step away from him. “No, Brad!”

He looked down at the floor, snarling out his next words through clenched teeth. “You always make the wrong choices, Mel.Always!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded. Outside my kitchen window the sky lit up with lightning, followed by a rumble of thunder in the distance. Outside a storm was brewing. Inside my apartment, one was already in full swing.

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