“So boss, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” I asked. He put down his own bowl and stood, stretching. His skin rippled over his stomach muscles mesmerisingly. I bit my lip, but he heard my sharp inhale.
“It must be hard, having something you want so badly right in front of you and not being able to admit to yourself that you want it.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” I said, standing up and limping my way back inside.
“Okay, Stink, let’s get you moved in with me.” He said into my ear, walking beside me as I hobbled up the stairs towards the front door.
“Let’s get one thing straight here – I’m not moving in withyou. I’m staying in your mother’s house for a while so that I can get myself back in shape,” I snapped as I opened the front door and made my painstaking way towards Joel’s car – a blue BMW M4. Joel thought it was hot. I told him it was super wanky. I secretly loved riding in it, but I’d never admit that to him.
I slid into the leather seat. Joel put a towel down on his seat and sat down.
“Lift your butt, Mel!” he commanded. I grimaced as I lifted my swimmers-clad behind off the seat so Joel could put a towel downto protect his precious vehicle. Somehow, he managed to trail a couple of fingertips over my butt as he straightened. I shivered, pursing my lips so I didn’t squawk at him. He wanted my reaction – healwayswanted my reaction, and I had to stop giving him the satisfaction.
We were slipping into our usual habits: him teasing me, me trying not to bite. It was easier than being serious. Being serious brought Steve to the forefront of my mind, and that made me feel sick and dizzy and on the verge of tears all at the same time. I wondered if it made Joel feel the same way, but I was too afraid to ask.
The road outside was thankfully clear of people – Sandra had engaged some private security who were very good at intimidating loiterers. Joel gave a salute to the two large men posted outside the gates as he pulled onto the road.
“Now I know how celebrities feel,” I muttered. Joel chuckled humourlessly, turning down the music.
“So, how come Braddles hasn’t been sleeping over? I thought he’d be all about the night-time comfort.”
“I … need to be able to cope with this on my own,” I mumbled.
The nightmares had plagued me again last night.Blood. Gaping mouth. Bulging eyes. Screams.I shuddered. Joel noticed.
“People want to help, you know, Stink,” Joel replied. “None of us should have to do this on our own. You can always call me, I’ll come and keep you warm.” And we were right back to teasing.
“Connor keeps me plenty warm, thanks. Besides, you should be with your family, not with me.”
Joel huffed out a breath. “You are family, Stink. Pretty sure Mum likes you better than me.”
“It kind of didn’t feel like it, when I asked if you wanted me to come in the other night. I …” I trailed off, reluctant to tell Joel about my pang of loneliness that night.
Joel didn’t respond straight away.
“I assumed you were just being polite,” he eventually said. “Besides, I figured you and Lover Boy needed some alone time. Sex is great for taking your mind off things. I almost invited a ‘friend’over myself. I would have if Aunty Dianne and the kids weren’t over.”
I grunted. “For starters, Brad’snotmy lover boy – we’re just friends. And secondly, too much information, Joel. I really have zero interest in your sex life.”
Joel sniffed. “Brad’s got it bad for you, Stink.”
I gaped at him. “Brad so hasnot‘got it bad’ for me! He’s just a friend!”
“Uh-huh. A friend who wants to marry you and have babies with you.”
“Ugh,” I grumbled.
Joel pulled into my building’s car park. I looked up and sighed when I saw who was waiting in one of the visitor parks.
Joel followed my gaze, and his lips pressed together into a thin line. He knew what my mother was like. He pulled into a parking space and slid out of the car. I reluctantly followed suit.
“Hi, Mum.” I tried to sound happy to see her.
Mum approached me, her expensive dye-job brown hair swinging around her shoulders. She pressed her hands with their French-polished nails to my cheeks.
“Melanie! You’re looking too thin! You’re not eating right. Did you go to confession? Father Shannon said he was looking forward to chatting with you.”
I shrugged out of her grasp, unlocking the building door and holding it open for her. Joel brought up the rear, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, his expression unreadable.