Page 90 of Ace My Heart

“I’m sorry, Mel. I should have warned you, should have protected you, but I didn’t think it would go this far.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s not like you forced me to sleep with him,” I said, my eyes dropping to the bruises on my arms. Joel’s hand snaked into my vision, touching the marks gently. I flinched and he stood and stalked into the bathroom, returning with a tube of ointment, unscrewing the lid with his teeth. He squeezed some out and started spreading it gently on my skin.

“This should help the cuts and the bruising clear up faster,” he murmured. I sat still while he massaged the ointment in.

“So,” Joel began, a hint of teasing in his tone. “Brad finally kissed you, did he?”

“What?” I blurted, dumbstruck. And then it hit me – he had kissed me. I’d been half spaced out from shock at the time. But it had happened.

“Stinky, he was going to kiss you sooner or later. He’s been wanting to for years.” He looked at me from under thick, full lashes.

Wanting. Brad had mentioned something about that, too.

“Do you think he … does he …?”

Joel chuckled, but there was an edge to it. “Mel, he wants everything you’re prepared to give him. If you haven’t realised this before, then realise it now, because you’re going to have to decide.”

“Decide what?”

“Friend or lover – once you take that leap, there’s no going back.”

Those words, coming from Joel, squeezed at my heart.

“I can’t think about this right now,” I said, leaning my head backagainst the lounge. “I’m in no state to be thinking about anyone like that.”

I sighed, looking down at the bruises blossoming on my arms. “I’m not an ungrateful slut, am I?” I whispered.

Joel sucked a breath in through his teeth. “He called you that?” he asked in a low voice. I nodded, feeling the tears welling up again.

“I’m also a filthy whore, apparently.”

Joel pulled me against him, tucking me into his side. I put my head on his chest.

“Of course you’re not! Ben, however, is a bad loser who lashes out when he doesn’t get exactly what he wants. He’s been like that ever since we were kids.”

I wiped my tears on his shirt. I’d told Brad that being held by him felt safe. But being held by Joel … I couldn’t find words.

“Do you want me to stay here tonight? Or you could come to my place, if you don’t want to be alone,” he offered.

As soon as the words left his mouth, I knew that being alone wasexactlywhat I needed. I looked up at him and he met my eyes with nothing more than concern showing in his own.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I mumbled.

“Are you sure? I’m happy to stay if you want me to.”

I shook my head. “Sorry, Joel, but it’s … hard to look at you right now. You look so much like Ben.”

Hurt flickered across Joel’s face and he stood up very quickly. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then,” he said stiffly. “Just … call me in the morning, okay? First thing? I need to know that you’re alright.”

I nodded. “I’ll call tomorrow. I promise.”

Joel let himself out quietly. I sat staring at nothing for a long time. Connor came circling round my ankles and I picked him up, cuddling him close to me and lying back on the lounge. His purring was very comforting.

“See, Connie? I don’t need men in my life – I’ve got you!” I whispered, kissing him on the head. He yowled in disapproval and jumped down. I snorted. Just like a typical male – they want to be all over you until you do something that makes them uncomfortable,and then all of a sudden they want nothing more than to escape you.

Well, that wasn’t necessarily true. Ben had wanted to force me to be with him, even after I told him that there was nothing between us.

And I’d done loads of stuff that Brad would have every right to feel uncomfortable about, but he … he wanted, he’d said. There was so much that he wanted. He’d kissed me! I had been so overwhelmed with everything that had just happened with Ben that I hadn’t really processed the fact that it had happened. We were going to have to have a conversation about it at some point. Joel was right, I was going to have to choose: friends or more than friends, with the potential to ruin everything.

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