Page 97 of Ace My Heart

“It’s not happening,” I muttered unconvincingly.

“What’s not happening?” he whispered against the side of my face.

I let out a shuddering breath and my hands took on a life of their own, reaching up to rest against his hips. He moved until his leg was pressing between mine.

Another shaky breath and my fingers burrowed under thebottom of his t-shirt. His skin rippled under my touch and he brought his hands down to cup my face, tilting my head back until I was gazing into the depths of his eyes. Until his mouth was very, very close to mine.

“Joel, I can’t do this,” I pleaded with him, turning my head away.

“Can’t do what?” he asked.

“I can’t do this with you.” The words were barely more than a breath; that was all the strength I could give to them.

“We’re not doing anything, Mel,” he replied, even as his hips pressed against mine. Had I pulled him closer?

I tore my hands off his body. “I’m not. I can’t.”

He released me and I opened the door and escaped. My legs were jelly beneath me. Before I was even to the gate he was behind me again, his hand on my arm, holding me back.

“Let me drive you home.” He sounded so reasonable that I felt the fight go out of me. I trudged back to his car.

It was a silent trip to my house. Maybe Joel realised that he’d overstepped a boundary today. A boundary that I was clearly incapable of keeping defined.

As I got out of the car, he spoke.

“Don’t worry about our game this afternoon. Just have fun tonight. I’ll see you at training tomorrow. Let’s make it ten instead of eight, okay? Gives us both a bit of a sleep in.”

I nodded, not having any words to say to him. He drove away before I had closed the main door of the apartment building behind me. I stood just inside the door trying to catch my breath.

“Have you been away from home more this year, or is it just me?” Brad asked.

I took a sip of my wine and leaned back against the aqua coloured leather lounge. “No, it’s pretty much been the same,” I replied, staring out over the waves.

Brad and I had arrived early, so just the two of us could have a drink before Amanda and Thomas joined us.

Brad leaned back next to me. “It just feels like you’ve been away more, that’s all,” he sighed and took another mouthful of his beer. “You and Joel seem to be spending a lot of time together lately.”

I fiddled with the stem of my wine glass, ordering my stupid heart to stop fluttering. “He’s my coach, of course I’m going to spend a lot of time with him; Iworkwith him. That’s all it is.”

I heard the lie in my voice. I hoped that Brad didn’t. I couldn’t talk to him about what had almost happened in Rome … and again in Paris … and again today. Brad, one of the few people I could usually tell anything and everything, was not someone I could confide in about Joel.

“So, you’ve been getting into a lot of finals lately,” Brad commented.

I sighed in relief that he’d decided to drop the whole Joel subject. “Yeah, I know. It’d just be good if I could actuallywinone. I wassoclose in Paris – Abigail Petersen’s not a fan of the clay. I thought I had her, but I got a bit too overconfident.”

I paused to take a breath. “You know what? We always talk about me, what’s going on in your life?” I smiled winningly at him. It would be so good not to talk tennis … or Joel for a little while.

Brad grinned at me. “Just the usual. Uni, clinical placement at Frankwright paediatric oncology … missing you.”

I swallowed nervously, choosing to ignore his last statement. “Oncology, wow, really? Wouldn’t that be kind of … I don’t know … depressing?” I thought about little Natalie, and the courtyard full of bald kids with not enough meat on their bones.

Brad shrugged. “Only if you let it be – I prefer to think about the positives. I could help make a difference to kids who might not have much of a chance otherwise.”

“Hey, do you know a girl called Natalie up there?” I asked.

Brad smiled. “Oh, yeah, she’s a cutie, that one. A real battler. She’s got a very rare form of leukaemia, and it’s quite aggressive, but she never complains or gets upset about all the treatments she needs. Isn’t she the one that you went to visit that day?”

I nodded.

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