Page 18 of Bed of Roses

“Blake, get over here. Your girlfriend has broken the order,” I hissed.

I was two and a bit days postpartum. My nipples were aching off my body and I had stitches in my vagina. I didn’t need this shit.

He read the card, visibly paling. “Fuck. I’ll deal with this Haz. I’ll deal with it right now.”

He left the room, presumably to call the police. They’d probably take her in for a day or so, but she wouldn’t face any real consequences. What would it take for them to push her into psych care? This was a slap on the wrist. That’ll teach her, I thought sarcastically.

Chapter 16. Rose - Bonding

Everything had gone so wrong. I’d spent a day at the local police station for violating that ridiculous order Harriet had made Bear take out on me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how much more of his “rejection” that I could take. I understand he had to make it convincing for Harriet until the baby was born and he could leave her, but he was really hurting me in the process. The gift wasn’t “contact.” It was for the baby. The baby didn’t have an order against me. I paid a local kid $10 to put it on their step, so I hadn’t even crossed onto their property.

Mom had come to collect me. She was pretty angry. I don’t know what she had said to the police, but they weren’t going to fine me. I was given a stern warning and reminded that the order was still in place. Next time, they would be much harsher with me.

We were sitting in a restaurant having lunch because we couldn’t go home to Colin’s when mom was with me.

“Rose, this isn’t okay,” she said. “When you told me about your Bear, you made it seem like he loved you. This man took out an order against you! What have I told you? If it’s too challenging, you move onto the next one. Don’t lose your pride like this. You look like a fool. Just see our Colin’s time and then move on.”

“He does love me,” I insisted. “He’s been forced into this merry dance by Harriet. He’s worried he’ll lose contact with our baby if he splits from her now.”

“Ourbaby? Rose, the baby is his and his wife’s not yours,” she said with a look of disbelief. “Rose, I think you might need some help.”

Of course I needed help! The man I loved and who loved me was being kept from me. Now he had a baby to worry about, he’dpush me even further aside. If I gave him a baby, he’d stay with me. He’d worry about me and protect me against outsiders.

“Rose?” Mom asked, annoyed at my silence.

“What do you want me to say? You obviously don’t understand the situation. The only people who really understand a relationship is the peoplein the relationship.”

“Yes, but Rose, this doesn’t sound like a relationship. It sounds like a stalker movie.” Mom was never tactful. She saw something she wanted and went for it with gusto. Well, so did I, but I was more of an emotional person than mom. She wanted Colin for a payday. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that. All of a sudden pushing me on my wealthy father in his final ailing days? But again, I had feelings. I wanted to know Colin and it wasn’t about the money.

“Whatever, Mom. Thank you for bailing me out, but I really have nothing more to say on the matter. Bear and I just have to have a conversation.”

“Rose!” she exploded. “You cannot talk to this man. You’ll be thrown in jail and have a hefty fine added, which I cannot afford to pay. I think we should speak to Auntie Jean.”

Well, that was just offensive. Auntie Jean was a psychiatrist. I wasn’t crazy. I was in love and feeling rejected and heartbroken. Nothing a few days in bed with chocolate and sappy movies wouldn’t fix.

“No need for Auntie Jean,” I snapped. Auntie Jean had that annoying “I’m here for you” personality. Even Mom couldn’t stand her constant interventions and opinions, so to hear that Mom wanted to bring her into this was alarming.

“There’s a need for something, Rose. You’re losing your pride and your mind over a fucking man,” Mom scolded.

I’d broken her number one rule. It was fine to have boyfriends. It was fine to pursue men, but apparently you shouldn’t lose your pride. That was why she’d never had along-term relationship. She didn’t understand that love required sacrifice. She’d never sacrifice anything for love, even for a daughter’s love.

“Can you talk to him for me?” I asked her.

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s a violation too,” she answered, spooning up a pile of rice.

“Then what will I do? Should I just wait a bit? The order is for a year. That’s a long time. The baby will be older, and I’ll have missed the early bonding stage.” That was a real concern for me.

“It’s not your fucking baby,” she shouted, causing several people to turn around. “Rose, I’ll level with you. Having kids isn’t all that great. I don’t recommend it. Begladit’s not your baby. Be glad you don’t have any baggage and can just walk away and find another man. This is a good thing. Walk away!”

Baby bear was part of the package. I wouldn’t walk away from her. I wonder what they’d called her? I knew she was a girl from the pink explosion on the front step, but both Rose and Bear had nailed down their social media profiles, so I had no idea what her name was. Jacqui had turned into a tight-lipped bitch and Leo didn’t even talk to me. It’s like he’d been told I was a psycho or something. He literally would walk away if I came near him.

Lunch dragged on. Spending time with my mother when she was in this mood was a drag. I smiled at the appropriate times and nodded my head when she gave me her opinion. She didn’t understand. Nobody but Bear and I did.

Chapter 17. Harriet - Farewelling a flawed man

Two weeks later I felt no closer to a routine than I did on day one. Jacqui warned me that “routine” was elusive, that even if we came close to one, Immy’s patterns would shift as she grew, and we’d begin a whole new one. Immy was a darling. I could now understand how parents fell in love instantly. I would do anything for this crying, pooping little human. Blake was a doting dad. He did anything that didn’t require boobs, which was a relief. I’d been emotional, lashing out about silly things, crying about things as small as needing to poop. Anything functions below my waist had me wincing at the mere thought.

Rose had been quiet. Suspiciously quiet. I was feeding Immy on the sofa when I heard a knock at the door. It was Jacqui.

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