Page 19 of Bed of Roses

“Come in,” Blake welcomed.

She stepped into the living room, almost nervously.

“How are you, Haz? How is our newest neighbor?”

“She’s good. Occasionally she sleeps!” I laughed.

Jacqui looked at Blake. “I came to tell you that Colin passed away last night. Apparently, it was peaceful, in his sleep. No funeral details yet, but I thought you should know.”

“How did you find out?” Blake asked. I knew he was interested. He wanted to know if anyone had had contact with Rose.

“The ambulance came last night. You were both probably distracted by a crying baby or getting some well-deserved sleep. I came out when they were wheeling him out. I didn’t talk to Rose, but she was there with an older woman who was hugging her. Her mom I guess,” Jacqui finished.

“Well, it’s sad but I’m glad it was peaceful for him. He may have made mistakes in his life, but he was always a friendlyneighbor when he was lucid, and he seemed like a good man,” I replied.

“Well, I need to get home. Ben is coming over with the grandkids. Remember, call me if you need anything.” With that, she was gone.

“Poor Colin,” I said.

“Yeah, well, we all die at some stage,” Blake pointed out. “Hopefully this means the house will be sold and she moves.” He didn’t have to say who “she” was.

“Probably not. She’ll inherit it and stay here so she can be close to her Bear.”

I was no closer to not throwing her in Blake’s face. I knew I either had to get over it and shut up or move on. I had forced myself to keep that issue out of my mind. Between showering, caring for Immy, eating and occasionally sleeping, I had very little mental capacity left to think about the future. I loved Blake. I desperately loved Blake and living as a little family was everything I’d dreamt about, even with the soreness and fatigue of the early days.

Blake hung his head. The thing is, he deserved to have this brought up. And brought up again, but his reaction always made me feel instantly guilty. I couldn’t keep antagonizing him.

“I’m sorry. I believe you when you say you had no feelings for her. But your actions were so hurtful. You threw me away so easily, and didn’t seem to care at the time no matter what I said. Or what Mick said. I’m still in self-protection mode. Survival mode.”

He nodded. “I know. This was my fuck up and you don’t need to feel bad about giving me reminders. Counseling has taught me a lot, and all I can say is that I promise you, I’d never ever let someone in like that again. You stepping away from me has been a huge lesson. I’m fucking devastated about what I’ve done. Rose being a psycho is just a side effect. I know that even if she’d beena normal woman who misread my intentions, and yes, I know I made them easy to misread, I’d still feel guilty as shit. I crossed lines. And I’ll beg you to my dying day to forgive me.”

“It wasn’t meant to be a lesson, Blake. It’s just a reaction.”

“Yeah, I know. Sometimes I feel like being quiet is the best gift I can give you because I seem to keep fucking up.”

“You’re not. You’ve been great with Immy, and I know you’re taking some licks.” Sean had visited and didn’t seem to be thawing toward Blake at all. Belle was friendly to him, exchanging banter and jokes, but I knew she’d turn on a dime if I asked her to.

Two days later, Blake’s phone chimed as we sat on the sofa eating cookies. My back stiffened. I was going to have to get past that reaction when his phone sounded. Time, I told myself.

He glanced down at his screen. “Jacqui says funeral is Wednesday,” he said. “I don’t want to go but will if you do.”

I paused. Colin had been a good neighbor. He was a cheating asshole, but that was decades ago and it had been Lorraine’s anger to carry, not mine. But the funeral would mean contact with Rose. I didn’t even know if we would be allowed to go, given we’d filed an order against her. It was her father. She couldn’t be expected to miss his farewell, no matter how much of a crazy bitch she was.

“No, let’s not go. It’ll probably be streamed anyway, most funerals are now, since COVID. I’ll donate to a charity in his name, and we’ll have a drink with Jacqui and Leo after to chat about old Colin memories,” I determined.

“Done. I’ll text Jacqui back and see if she’s busy Wednesday night.”

His phone chimed again. “Yep, they’ll come over at 5:30,” he said. “I’ll pick up some drinks and snacks on Wednesday.”

Chapter 18. Blake - Ominous warnings

Colin’s funeral was a fitting tribute to him. He’d been a hard worker, building an air-conditioning business from the ground up, leaving him quite a wealthy man. We could only see the actual service, not the whole room, but Jacqui said it had been full of old colleagues, family, and friends. We’d remembered him fondly that night, toasting to a life well lived, even if it had sometimes been deviously well lived.

Rose had come up in conversation, but it was minimal, just Leo recounting her behavior at the funeral.

“She was a mess, sobbing the whole time. I think it was her mom beside her, rubbing her back. Even the mom shed a few tears.”

We’d acknowledged his statement and moved on. We had a friendly street, and were hoping that if the house was sold, it would be bought by someone we could bring into our group.

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