Page 9 of Bed of Roses

What had I done? Why did I tell Rose that? Rose had been talking to me about her feelings for Colin, and I’d used Haz’s story to empathize with her. I shouldn’t have. I knew straight after the words left my mouth that I shouldn’t have. Why would Rose share that with her?

“Oh, and it was so wonderful to hear another woman use the word ‘we’ when talking about her relationship with my husband. Apparently ‘we’ didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I didn’t kiss her, I promise. She kissed me to thank me, and I ended it straight away. I don’t even find her attractive. Fuck Haz, I wouldn’t do that to you. I know I was wrong. I feel like shit about what I’ve done.”

“Would you have told me about the kiss?” she asked tearfully.

I had to be honest. My ass was grass already. No more lies.

“No, probably not because I know there was nothing in it. Rose knows I don’t want her. I didn’t want to stress you out,” I pleaded.

“Didn’t want to stress me out? You’ve been spending weeks talking to this woman. Months actually. You asked her for a back angle for her fucking ‘fit check’.” She made air quotes with her hands. “You’ve been cheating. I don’t even believe it was one short kiss. I don’t believe you about anything. You’ve been prioritizing her and gaslighting me since we met her. You’ve deleted texts. Missed appointments. Lied to my fucking face.You stood in this house an hour ago and gotangry with mefor suggesting anything was going on,” she yelled, pushing some clothes into her case.

She swiped her hand across her eyes. I reached for her, but she slapped my hand away and zipped up the case, lugging it in front of her. I tried to grab the bag, but copped another arm slap for my efforts. This wasn’t safe. I couldn’t let her leave like this.

She stormed out the door, unlocking her car with the remote. I chased her, pleading with her to at least let me drive. Silence. The last thing I heard from her was crying as she closed the door and pulled away. Leo was outside, dumping a box on the curb. He looked up and waved awkwardly. I waved back. He looked at Haz’s disappearing car, then back at me with a small shake of his head.

Fuck! I texted Belle.

Me: Haz headed your way. We had a fight. Please let me know when she arrives. I’m worried about her. She’s crying.

Belle: What did you do? She’s not flighty. If she’s crying, you’ve done something. Is it that fucking Rose?

Me: Yes, but it’s not what you think. It’s a misunderstanding.

Belle: I’ll let Haz be the judge of that, but I will let you know when she gets here.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone pinged.

Belle: She is here.

Me: Thanks. I’ve texted her but will try to call later.

Belle: I wouldn’t bother.

I sat on the sofa with my head in my hands. It was going to be a long night. My phone chimed again. I grabbed it eagerly. Maybe Haz had responded to my messages, or maybe Belle was updating me.

Rosie: Hey, wanted to let you know Dad is okay. They’re keeping him for a few days, but he’ll be fine. Any chance you could give us a lift home when he’s released?

Fuck. Why had I changed her contact to “Rosie”? She should have been Rose. Rose across the road and nothing more. Had I led this woman on? I changed her name back to Rose and added her surname with the word “neighbor.”

Me: Sorry, I can’t. I don’t think we should speak anymore, Rose. You’ll have to ask someone else.

Rose: Is it Haz? I’m so sorry Bear. She seemed upset when she left. I tried to tell her we’d decided to just be friends, but she still seemed angry. I hope I didn’t cause trouble xx

Of course you caused fucking trouble, I thought bitterly. Why had this woman told her all of that? There was no “discussion.” She made it sound like we’d sat down to discuss the possibility of a relationship. That had never happened. And why were her text kisses suddenly seeming so inappropriate?

Me: This is inappropriate. We never discussed that. Please don’t talk to my wife again. And please call Leo if there’s an emergency.

What was I going to do? I’d grovel. Haz would calm down. She had to, for the baby. When she came back, I’d put all my energy into our relationship. It would all be okay.

Chapter 8. Harriet – Self-care

The next two days were an emotional blur. I called my boss Eliza and asked for a week off, which she readily agreed to. “You’re well ahead in your work Harriet, and you’ve trained Sam so well. Take as much time as you need,” she’d said. I loved my work, and I loved my colleagues.

I hadn’t texted Blake back or answered his calls. Belle was amazing. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have eaten for the last two days if she hadn’t kept pushing food into my hands. She was sympathetic and supportive. She didn’t rant and rail against Blake. She just listened and told me she was on my side no matter what happened.

I scrolled through his messages.

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