Page 98 of Running With Lions

“Just because people create rules doesn’t mean those areyourrules. I don’t follow those rules; neither does your dad.”

Sebastian sniffs. A tear escapes, forcing him to slant his chin.

Lily clucks at him. “Do you honestly believe Mason and William won’t hunt you down to get into trouble after graduation?” He shrugs, and she frowns as if she can’t believe him. “Those boys are ruthless. Thank the heavens we stopped having children after you, because now I have three sons when I only asked for one.”

Sebastian knows she’s right. Mason will find some way to get him arrested, and Willie will bail them out.

“This is your senior year.” Lily has a finger under his chin; her thumb wipes at a tear. “Let life happen. All the plans we make are not guaranteed.”

“But—”

She cuts in. “High school is just like the night sky. It’s beautiful. Some moments, you’re just in awe of it. But it’s dark and endless, which can be scary, too. When the stars fall away, what’s left?”

Sebastian shrugs, his vision blurred.

“The sun,” she says, giggling. “Darkness goes away, but the sun shows up and you start over again. So let high school happen, and eventuallyyoulight up the rest of your life. Burn as bright as you want. The wonderful thing about the sun is, it’s always there. People don’t have to see you to believe you’ll be there.”

Sebastian’s heartbeat slows. He scrubs his sleeve over his wet eyes. His mom is pretty awesome. The future’s foggy, but that’s okay. He can take life wherever he wants, and his parents, Willie, and Mason will support him.

“I was thinking New York.” New York City is huge and nothing like Bloomington. “Coach says a few schools are interested in me, and, if that doesn’t work out, I can get a job until I sort it out.” He pauses, waiting for her disapproval.

Lily smacks his shoulder. “Perfect, you can take me shopping, and Dad will love the coffee shops. I’m in.” Her eyes scrunch; she’s happy. “And take your sister with you. She’s driving me nuts.”

Sebastian can imagine it: a cheap apartment with big windows overlooking the city. Maybe he’ll try out for the Red Bulls, or he could play for the Ramblers. He’s read brochures. Playing for the International Gay and Lesbian Football Association, being involved in a team from the LGBTQ community, sounds pretty sweet. Coach Patrick would approve.

It doesn’t escape him that Emir wants to go to New York too. So maybe he’s daydreamed about them living together, sharing M&M’s while studying in bed. That’s just a pipe dream now.

“So,” Lily, who is also part psychic, says, “was that Raj Shah’s son I saw in the parking lot on the way in?”

Oh, God. Sebastian’s body tenses so much his jaw clicks. Lily’s mouth twists into a very curious smile, a sign she’s calling his bluff, so he says sheepishly, “He’s on the team this year.”

Lily lights up. She claps. Her eyes are crinkled, the way Sebastian’s get when he’s over the moon about something. “Oh, I love that boy!” she cheers. Then, in a careful voice, she says, “I always thought it was such a shame you two stopped seeing each other when you were younger.”

Me too.

“Do you two talk?”

“Yeah, sort of. We’re friends.”

“And?”

“About that,” Sebastian pauses, blinking so hard he might cry. He’s trying to cough up a little bravery, just say the words, and not freak out.

“Bastian?”

He sucks in a breath. All he has to do is come out to his mom. Tell her how much his heartachesover a guy. He knows Emir’s come out to his parents. They’ve talked about how supportive Emir’s family is, and how Emir worried his religion would get in the way, but it hasn’t. He’s still a Shah, still as important to them as ever.

Sebastian’s nerves hang on his tonsils, but he manages, “Emir is all I think about.”Almost there. “Not as a friend, Mom, but… We started something, over the summer, and it didn’t work out.”

His shaking body wants to curl in on itself. Lily rests a hand on the nape of his neck and says, “You can’t do anything to fix that?”

Sebastian’s heart kicks like a wild animal. She’s not disappointed or angry. She’s worried. Her son admitting he’s bisexual isn’t the apocalypse; no, it’s her son being without the person,the boyhe loves that saddens her.

“Maybe.” He shrugs wearily. “I hope. I don’t know, Mom, but I love him.”

And there it is. He’s said it out loud, and he means it.

Sebastian’s stomach backflips. Lily’s eyes are huge, as if all she wants is to help Sebastian get Emir back, as though she’ll love him no matter whom he loves.

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