Page 100 of As You Walk On

I can’t stomach my own reflection in the photo’s glass. Dad’s disappointed voice echoing in my head. I’m barely halfway up the stairs before the onslaught of tears rips an achingly loud sob from my throat.

20

RUNNING NOWHERE

School breaks arealways way too short. But spring break without a phone, unrestricted internet, or a change of scenery from the four walls of my bedroom is the longest, most painful time away from school ever. I’m looking forward to returning to Mr.Kumar and Algebra 2. Me, excited aboutmath.

Ugh.

But a six thirty a.m. track practice awaits me first.

Waking up two hours early on a Monday to catch the public bus to Brook-Oak wasn’t terrible. Definitely not something I want to repeat on a daily basis. Today’s forty-minute journey was necessary.

With no phone all break, I haven’t talked to Darren. Not so much as an email could be sent on Dad’s laptop without his authorization. It felt absurd for our first communication after eight days to be me asking Darren for a ride to school. Plus, I’m not certain where we stand. WhereIstand with him.

How much does he know about what happened at the party?

Darren’s always been the chill one in our group. The mediator. Is this the one time he chooses Jay’s side over mine?

I couldn’t ask Dad to drop me off either. We’re still not talking. Not like normal. We’ve resorted to brief sentences. Sometimes only single words. Small nods and head shakes. There haven’t been any discussions about what we said that day. No apologies. We haven’t eaten dinner together. Shared popcorn while judging the Transformers movies.

We’re two drone bees buzzing around a hive with no queen.

Sad thing is, it makes me miss Granny even more.

So, public transportation it is. No biggie. Just your average Black student in a cerulean BOHS hoodie, JanSport in his lap, munching on brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts, and wondering what fresh hell awaits me once I get to school.

•••

The locker room is empty. A few familiar cars littered the parking lot when I arrived, including Jay’s. Despite how I feel about what’s happened with him, I’m staying true to my word. Something I learned from Granny.

After a thorough search, I don’t find Jay or any of my teammates hanging around. Perfect. I need at least ten minutes of peace before I do this.

Unfortunately, I’m only given six.

As I’m pulling on my cleats, open gym bag on the floor, folded joggers on the bench next to my leg, a “Hey” echoes nearby.

I eye Darren cautiously, replying, “Sup.”

Friend or enemy?

After a brief inspection of his attire, the answer is immediate:friend.

Darren’s dressed in a forest green and cardinal tracksuit. They match the shorts I have on. His unzipped jacket reveals a loose-fit white T-shirt with an ugly cartoon tree on it.

Mountainview High’s mascot.

It’s hard to ignore the ache in my cheeks from grinning so hard.

“Uh, you look tight,” I comment.

He rolls his eyes. “I looksick, bro.” He then hits a few quick poses, modeling our rival’s wardrobe like he’s stepped onto a runway in Milan. My best friend is straight out of a low-budget comedy movie.

My smile widens. Darrenismy best friend. Through and through, he’s always been there for me, including right now, dressed like he’s the one who lost the dare.

“So...” I begin, fiddling with my laces, “how much do you know?” After his brow furrows, I add, “About what happened at the party?”

“All of it.”

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