Page 106 of As You Walk On

I spare no detail, especially when it comes to Luca. By the time I’m done, we cross the finish line. Darren falls into the grass, groaning. I join him. We’re soaked in sweat, heaving.

“Damn. Sorry about the Luca thing,” he eventually puffs out. “I mean, you did say some pretty messed-up things. Even for you.”

Blush flares against my cheeks. Thankfully, my wince goes unnoticed.

“But it sucks for him, mostly.”

“What do you mean?” I ask between gasps for air.

“Coming in second place twice in twenty-four hours?” he replies with a lethargic shrug. “And then the guy hekissedthrows the things he’s dealing with at home in his face? Brutal.”

“I wasn’t his first pick either!” I complain. “I was hisrebound.”

Saying it out loud hurts a lot more than letting it bounce around my head all week. It was the only way to not feel like the Luca thing was a total loss. Even though it is.

“And you know that because...?”

“Because he—” I stop myself.

Because his first choice wasn’t his from the start. It was his parents’. And all I did was remind him of that.

I obviously do a poor job of disguising my thoughts sinceDarren says, “Don’t you just love when those epiphanies hit you. It’s like...magic. Or a slap in the face.”

“Shut up,” I moan, too exhausted to punch his shoulder.

He goes quiet for a second, and I turn my head to eye him.

“What?”

“This is the most you’ve ever told me about a guy.” There’s no weirdness is his voice or side-eye. Nothing about being gay or having a crush on a guy affects Darren. They’re simply indisputable facts to him.

To Darren, I’ve always been just Theo.

“I just—” My heart rate spikes like I’m still on those last fifty meters of a race. “I wanted prom so bad. Everyone else gets this...bighigh school dream.”

Tears burn against my eyelashes. I blink them back.

“It’s like the universe keeps telling me no.” Quietly, I add, “Because I’m me.”

Darren remains quiet. My chest tightens. I don’t know why I keep expecting him to be like Cole. Like Jay. But I’m so glad Darren keeps proving me wrong.

“You know,” he begins, “I want that for you too. I’ll never walk in your shoes. As much garbage as we both constantly face, I can’t say I’ll ever experience it at the same level as you do.”

I blink and blink.

“You deserve your big gay-as-F prom night.” He elbows me. “For reals. I understand why you did what you did.”

I smile at the clouds. “Thanks, D.”

“Anyway,” he says, rolling onto his side. “Sounds like you have a handful of dares to make up for. And soon.”

The grass itches the dip in my spine. It’s official: wearing a crop top certainly has its negatives.

“You think I should... try to fix things?”

“Yes, asshole!” He laughs softly. “They’re your friends.”

“You are too,” I whisper.

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