Page 119 of As You Walk On

“Uh,language,” I say, snorting.

“I want you to be happy with the choices you make, and... I need to apologize for something else.”

With his other hand, he rubs his chin. In his face, I can see him piecing together the words, shifting the pieces, finding where and how they fit. Eventually, he gets there.

“I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you had to abandon Aleah because I was having a hard time.”

“Dad, no. I didn’t feel—”

He waves me off. “Yes. You did. Maybe not at the time. Maybe you were confused. But you did what you did because of me. And I’m sorry.”

We both take a moment to breathe.

I stare at the table. I can’t watch his eyes mist over. It’s hardenough listening to the small tremble in his voice when he says, “My romantic relationships and your friendships are separate. They’renotintertwined. If I’m struggling with something, you should never—ever—make the sacrifice so I can move on. That’s not your job.”

He clears his throat. I squeeze his hand.

“I’m sorry, son. I plan to tell Aleah this too.”

My thoughts rewind to the ramen bar. Mario’s face. How he hasn’t changed much, other than his smile. It was a little less vibrant without Dad by his side. I know Dad doesn’t owe me this, but I can’t help my next question.

“Why did you two break up?”

Dad laughs sadly. It’s his way of telling me he hoped I’d never ask.

“Mario’s promotion relocated him to Houston,” he begins.

I knew that much already.

“He wanted me to come with him,” Dad continues. “Wantedusto come with him.”

Oh. Me, living in Texas? Hundreds of miles away from Darren and Jay and Brook-Oak?

“Granny had died the year before. Your life, friends were here. Kentucky’s all you—we’veever known. I kept thinking, ‘How can I ask my son to start over?’ ”

“You told him?”

Dad nods. “We got into a big fight. He called me a coward. Said my decision was about me, not you.Iwas scared to break out of my shell.”

I scowl, chewing my lower lip.

“Hold on.” Dad chuckles. “He wasn’t totally wrong. I was afraid. It’s hard to step out of your comfort zone, no matter what age you are.” He wipes at his eyes. “Mostly, I didn’t want to be the reason you lost what you had here.”

I think I know what he means. Me and Aleah.

“So, he called it quits. I let him leave.”

And then I walked away from Aleah. I don’t say it.

“He’s back, y’know? Mario,” I whisper.

Dad snorts. His expression says,You’re late to the party, kid.

“Wait. You know?”

“Duh.” He rolls his eyes. “News flash: You’re not the only one with social media, TJ. I’ve seen photos. Location tags. We Gen-Xers know how to use technology too.”

“Yeah, poorly,” I retort under my breath. “You still have a Facebook, Dad. You’re a narc for the government.”

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