Page 120 of As You Walk On

He exhales a “Boy, shut up” before turning the laptop toward me.

“Have you seen him? In person?” I ask.

“Mind your business.”

“That a no, then?”

Dad elbows my arm. “This isn’t about Mario or me.” He pulls up his web browser. No less than ten tabs are open. I can’t make out any of the titles. “This is about who it should’ve always been about: you.”

Heat races through my cheeks. My belly squirms in anticipation of a lecture. Another Plan in the making.

But Dad only says, “Where do you want to go to school?” while clicking on the tabs.

Each is a different college. San Diego. Texas. Minnesota.California. Florida, then Georgia. The last three tabs are all universities in Kentucky. Close to home.

Close to him.

Words turn to gum in my mouth, sticky and flavorless and hard to swallow. I turn my eyes on him.

“I don’t know, Dad.”

He doesn’t yell. Not a speck of disappointment in his expression. Dad nods and smiles.

“Okay.”

He opens a new search engine. “You have time to figure it out,” he continues. “When you do, we’ll move from there. Wemightstill need a recommendation letter—”

I tense up.

“But I promise, we’ll find the right person to write it. Together. No shortcuts,” he finishes. “This is your future. Your plan.”

My future. My plan.

Everything’s about what’s best for me. Not for meandDad. It’s no less pressure, but if I fail, I know Dad won’t hate me.

He’ll be right here, waiting for me to start again.

“Thanks, Dad,” I say, a little choked, fully aware I haven’t apologized yet for what I said that day. He doesn’t seem anxious to jump into that conversation yet. It’s for another time.

“I love you, TJ,” he whispers, kissing my temple. “We’re going to be fine.”

And I believe him.

23

THE THING ABOUT PROM IS...

I wake upto a text from Aleah. I almost forgot we exchanged numbers after we finished talking in the gym. We haven’t reached dances-to-nineties-throwbacks-in-my-living-room friendship, but we’re clearly on a level where she feels comfortable enough to message me at 6:42 in the morning with the worst news ever.

Aleah

what up! plans in motion for luca to complete his dare. makayla found him a date!!! explain later

6:42 A.M.

Shit.

My brain selectively forgot I so graciously reached out to Makayla for assistance with my final incomplete dare. Now Luca’s going to have a date to prom not named Theodore Jamal Wright. Thanks, universe.

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