Page 131 of As You Walk On

“Jesus, Theo, what more do you want from me?” He flails his arms. “I helped you get all this. I helped you study to pass the entrance exam. I did whatever I could so we’d be together at Brook-Oak.”

I shake my head, unsurprised Jay doesn’t see howpresumptuous it is to take credit formyextra effort to get here.

“What else do you want?” Jay exhales.

“I want you tolisten,” I snarl, trying my best to contain all the rage that’s begun to outgrow my body. “Pay attention. Learn. Be empathetic. Stop doing the bare minimum when me or Darren aren’t around. Quit waiting for me to teach you how to be better.”

“I—”

“You what?” I interrupt. “Thought you did enough? With Cole? The guys on the team? Your dad?”

He swallows, blinking hard.

“You didn’t,” I whisper. “Maybe I should’ve said something sooner. But did you ever think about these things on your own?”

Jay’s still quiet. I don’t know what I was expecting. For him to agree? Admit he’s thought about any of this? To do something other than stand there, breathing hard?

“Theo, I’m really sorry! I’m trying—”

I cut him off again. “I don’t think you know what that word means, Jay.”

His tears return. I can’t tell if they’re real or not. If they’re because Jay knows what I’m about to say.

“I don’t want to be around selfish people,” I say. “Who take their personal shit out on others. I need friends who stand up for me. Not because it looks cool. Because it’s what youshoulddo.”

I sneak a glance toward the castle. Where Darren is. And the crew from Maddie’s bedroom. There’s an uncomplicated tug to be around them. That’s what I want from a friendship.

“Right now, I don’t think you fit my definition of a friend,” I say to Jay, shuffling around him. “Who knows? Maybe in the future,things’ll be different.You’llbe different. Maybe we’ll be the kind of friends our parents wish they were.”

“Th-Theo—”

I’m numb to his splotchy face and shaking limbs. There’s no pity in me. Only four words I need to say:

“See you around, Jay.”

•••

Luca’s the first person I see. He leans against a pillar outside the venue. I don’t know how long he’s been there. If he ever went inside. But I’m so happy it’s him waiting for me.

He doesn’t ask if I’m okay. Doesn’t try to pull me into a hug or treat me like I’m made of glass. To him, I’m not fragile.

I’m my own version of strong.

Luca looks like he’s perfectly fine with us standing here, gazing in each other’s eyes, not saying a damn thing all night long.

I move in until we’re practically nose-to-nose. “Dare completed,” I finally say, biting my lip. “I did something that makes only me happy.”

“I mean, technically, I’m happy for you too so...”

“Shut. Up,” I say, kissing him. “Let me have this.” Then I kiss him again.

“Hmm. Does the dare count, though?” He leans away, lips twisted sideways. “Are you sure anyone saw?”

I tip my head back, almost swearing at the sky. The rules of a dare truly need to be revamped in the future.

Luca cackles. His amusement is joined by River’s snorty giggle and Darren’s wheezing guffaw. Out of the shadows, my friends circle me and Luca, applauding.

“We all saw,” says Darren, squeezing my shoulders.

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