Page 34 of As You Walk On

I drop my face into my hands, holding in a scream. What was I thinking? Making testicle jokes like I’m a six-year-old? How does this keep happening? Every time Luca’s around, suddenly, I’m this unfiltered asshole. On the wrong end of his bad moment.

“Get it together, Theo,” I whisper into my palms.

I stare at the bathroom door. I can hear the faucet, Luca’s mumblings. Should I leave him to deal with this embarrassment alone? Get back downstairs and finish my dare? What if he needs someone to talk to? Maybe the Devya situation isn’t as cut-and-dried as I thought.

The door swings open, startling me. I lurch back. Something hard and rectangular digs into my right butt cheek.

My phone.

Lorde’s “Supercut” floods the room. Simultaneously, our eyes widen. I can’t move fast enough. Wiggling around, I unearth my phone. My clumsy hands bobble until it lands faceup on the carpet.

On-screen, a mini-Luca blinks furiously, mouth agape like a goldfish.

Shitshitshit.

My heart beats brutally against my ribs as I scoop up my phone. I exit YouTube like I’ve been caught watching porn.

When I raise my eyes, I’m fully anticipating rage-dilated pupils. A long string of (deserved) profanity followed by a possible punch to the jaw. I don’t know Luca’s history with violence, but it’s what I’d consider doing.

Instead... I’m met by a smile?

Luca looks entertained, arms folded across his chest, eyes bright.

“Not my best idea, I’ll admit.” He chuckles. “Check the BOHS Fail tag. George, my lab partner, uploaded a much better video to that Ariana song. ‘Thank U, Next’?”

“I’m sorry,” I say, choking. “Your lab partner meme’d you?”

He shrugs. “I told him to use Vampire Weekend.”

“Youhelpedhim?” My lips inch upward. “Vampire Weekend? For someone who promposed to One Direction, I didn’t expect for you to have such A-plus taste.”

“First off, that was forDevya. She was obsessed with them when we started dating. I mean, who doesn’t have a thing for Zayn?”

“Facts.”

I’m probably looking too deep into this, but did Luca just confess to having a crush on a former boy band member? Man crushes are a real thing, though that phrase is often used to affirm some fuckboy’s heterosexuality. Thinking someone of the same gender is objectively hot doesn’t equate to queerness.

He could’ve been joking too.

But I must be making a weird face because Luca deadpans, “I’m bi, Theo. Sorry I didn’t CC you on the eblast.”

“Oh. That’s cool.” I run a hand over my hair. “I’m gay, since we’re doing the whole coming out thing.”

Luca motions toward the spot next to me on the bed, eyebrows raised like he’s asking for permission. I scoot over. He sits with one foot under him, phone propped on his knee as he recites an oral history of the Devya and Luca Romance. First meet-cute in the bleachers during a soccer game to dinner with his family last December. He twists a scratched-up silver ring on his left thumb while speaking.

The whole thing is decidedly dreamy. Not in that sarcastic way I look at Jay and Jayla. Devya and Luca were good for each other. Well, up until she admitted to being “bored” with him and ended things after winter break.

“Ouch. That’s harsh.”

“But honest.” He keeps rotating his ring. “Don’t get me wrong. At first, things were great. Social media helped. All the likes and ‘hashtag goals’ in the comments.”

He swipes down his Instagram grid. Sixty percent of it is them. “Thing is, after coming out to my fam, they became obsessed with Dev. Commenting on every post. Making it a big deal.”

I tilt my head, confused.

“Because she’s a girl,” he sighs. “My papá and mamá have never said anythingbadabout me liking boys too. In fact, they’ve never acknowledged it at all. They kind of... avoid it.” His lips turn down defeatedly.

I want to say sorry, but I know that won’t help.

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