Page 65 of As You Walk On

“That’s what—”

Makayla smacks Luca’s arm, hard. “Don’t you dare finish that joke.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Aleah says, rubbing her hands together. “Who else?”

No one volunteers. I brush invisible lint off my T-shirt. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me.

I already know Luca’s story. River’s too. To some degree, we all know Aleah’s reasons. No offense, but I’m pretty confidentMakayla’s here because of Luca. But none of them know whyI’mhere. Not the excuse that originally landed me in this bedroom—myrealmotive.

Carrying around the weight of your failures and mistakes is exhausting. The Christian thing. Prom. The uncertainty of where my friendship with Jay truly lies. I’m convinced I’ll mess up The Plan next.

I’m going to fail Dad.

My bottom lip is raw by the time I lift my eyes. Expectant faces add another layer of tension to my muscles. I’m just so fucking tired.

“It was a dare,” I exhale out. “I’m nothiding. I’m here because of a dare.”

River’s head tilts sideways. “A dare?”

Makayla says, “You mean those absurd stunts you and your friends pull on Fridays?”

I clutch my chest, fully affronted. Silly stunts? Absolutely. Reckless? Maybe. But absurd is a level of harshness TNT has yet to reach. Then again, I’m the one avoiding a crowded party of people who’ve most likely seen some version of Christian rejecting me online, so maybe Makayla’s not that far off.

“They’re notallsilly,” counters Luca, smiling up at me. “There’s the one where you sang Mariah Carey.”

“You saw that?”

“Who didn’t?” He guffaws. “I was at the table next to yours. Front-row seat.”

Mortification burns against my neck. Once again, I overlooked him in a group situation. How many times has he been in myperiphery? Sitting so close to the margins, he’s been blurred. Never fully in focus.

“I didn’t see you,” I whisper, unable to come up with anything better.

He shrugs nonchalantly, like it’s a common thing.

But the more I think about it, how could anyone not notice a boy as genuine as Luca Ramírez?

“What was the dare?” River asks. The hesitance in their tone tells me it’s more sincere curiosity than nosiness.

I sigh. “It was—”

“Oh, shit!” Makayla slumps back against the bed, eyes wide. “That’s why you were asking Christian to prom, isn’t it?”

She might as well have shoved a butcher knife into my gut with the way I nearly double over in pain.

“Christian?” Luca’s eyes dart around. “As in Drumline Christian?”

“The one and only,” Makayla says as I defeatedly flop onto the floor.Sweet. Now they all know. Theo Wright, king of asinine life choices.

“You wanted to ask... Christian?” Luca shoots me an indecipherable look.

“He has a boyfriend,” comments Aleah, as if I needed that extra layer of embarrassment.

I pull my knees to my chest. “I didn’t know,” I whisper to my feet.

Jay didn’t tell mesits on the tip of my tongue.

A new round of anger and confusion fuses to my marrow. Jay’s like a bother. He couldn’t—no,wouldn’t—do that to me. Whatwould be his motivation? Fine, he can be a dick about losing at video games or placing anything but first at a track meet. He’s never gotten off on cruel public humiliation before. At least, not when it comes to Darren and me.

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