Page 66 of As You Walk On

“So you’re squatting in a bedroom because of a dare?” Aleah asks skeptically.

“I wanted to go to prom. Badly.” I shrug awkwardly, still hugging my shins. My eyes close. I don’t want to tell them the rest. But the pressure of everything else forces me to speak.

“The other reason is... I don’t know where I stand with my friends right now.”

In one long breath, I break down The Nameless Trio’s history at Brook-Oak. The dares and what they did for us. How much we mean to each other. And how, more and more, I’m starting to see the ways we differ. I can’t shake this obligation to keep things status quo, even though I know words like “obligation” shouldn’t be associated with friendships.

I even mention the party being Jay’s idea, which elicits a huff from Makayla and a pursed lips and eye roll combo from Aleah.

“It’s been a shit-tastic Saturday.”

I pinch a few of my twists between my thumb and forefinger, turning them clockwise, waiting for someone to call me out for being too melodramatic. When their silence is undercut by the party’s music, I glance up.

No one’s glaring at me. No signs of pity or disappointment. Only a few slow nods.

“I’m kind of hiding too,” Makayla says. “I know what thatpressure’s like. Maintaining the same relationships I’ve had since forever. Pretending like I don’t have any shitty friendships when...” Her voice drifts.

I chew my lip, waiting.

Loose wavy hair falls in front of her face but doesn’t cover the sad line of her mouth. The deep wrinkles around her eyes.

“It’d be great if just one of them said something when an asshole like Bryant calls me Swipe Right Mack,” she says, a mild tremble in her voice. “If they didn’t laugh it off. Like it’s no big deal. I’ll get over it, right?”

Makayla tugs on her hoodie like it’s choking her.

“Friendsare supposed to have each other’s backs,” she continues. “To be honest, I can’t wait to graduate. Go to college. Get the hell away from them. Start over.”

Behind her, Aleah teeters from foot to foot. Her eyes are wide, glassy, umber pools.

Makayla laughs weakly. “Which is ridiculous, since no one knows the real me anyway.”

Everyone’s quiet for a beat. Luca twists his rings. Aleah refuses to look at anyone. I crack my knuckles as Makayla’s words settle in my chest.Does anyone at Brook-Oak know the real me?

“I do,” River says eventually.

“What?”

“@ReadingByLaw, right?” River flashes an Instagram account on their phone. The grid is all aesthetically beautiful photos of book spines and colorful stacks and covers hiding a blond girl reading.

There are a few scattered images of the account’s owner—Makayla.

“How’d you find that?” she asks, blinking hard.

“We’ve met. Kind of,” replies River, smiling. “A year ago, at Epilogues. Nic Stone’s new-book release party. You probably don’t remember.” They shrug in that self-conscious way I do when no one else in the room knows what I’m rambling about.

Makayla’s eyes light up. “You had longer hair?”

River’s face wrinkles, smile intact. “Ugh. Yeah.”

“You took our photo? Nic and me?”

River nods, then brings up the image. Makayla standing with a brown-skinned woman wearing a popping shade of blue lipstick.

“Wait—you’re a book blogger?” Aleah asks, head cocked sideways.

“Bookstagrammer,” Makayla confirms sheepishly.

“You’ve never mentioned that.”

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