Page 76 of As You Walk On

A plastic jar stuffed to the brim with Jolly Ranchers. A euphoric rainbow within reach. Allowance was scarce those days. There was no way Granny was going to buy me candy so close to dinner.

The clerk was talking his head off between aisles. It was just the three of us in the store. All I had to do was stand on my tiptoes and swipe a piece.

No one noticed.

Not Granny while purchasing her special spices—and a few additional items.

Not Dad when I spent extra minutes in the bathroom as he cooked, savoring the tartness of the candy.

I’d gotten away with it... until bedtime.

Granny sat down on my bed, like always, ready to tuck me in. Her expression was tight. She didn’t sing to me that night. Instead, she huffed and shook her head and lectured me.

The next day, we walked back to the corner store. The scene of the crime. She paid for what I stole, then made me apologize. Through tears and snot, I stuttered out words. All I remember is Granny’s humiliated expression. Thehurt.

I’d broken her trust.

That day, I learned clean getaways don’t exist. There’s always someone or something waiting on the other side.

I’d almost forgotten that lesson. But tonight?

Tonight refuses to let me walk away fromanythingwithout consequence.

The party’s still raging as I nudge through the crowd. Luca’s right behind me. River, Aleah, and Makayla follow closely. Early-aughts hip-hop booms through the rooms. The smell of tequila and chlorine and sweat coats the air.

We’re almost to the front door.

It’s my own fault we don’t make it, though. Peeking down at my phone, I scroll through my messages. Where the hell is Darren? I’ve texted. Even dropped awtf D???in the WhatsApp group chat. Nothing. I’m okay with leaving Jay behind to clear my head for a few hours—I’ll be back to make sure he gets home safely—but I don’t want Darren to think I abandoned him.

Not like he did to me hours ago.

Eyes on my screen, I don’t notice the body in the doorway until I nearly collide with it.

With Jay.

I freeze, jaw tight, fingers curling to fists. I’m not going to hit him. But the desire to is bubbling to the surface.

“Theoooooo!” he says like yesterday in the quad, this time with a giddy, slurring voice. “Bro, where’ve you been? You went all Pac-Man on me?”

I flex an eyebrow.

He giggles. “Ghost! Like Pac-Man. You went... uh, ghost.” He even adds the corny video game sound effects.

Now I want to punch him.

Laying out my best friend for failing to inform me my crushhas a boyfriend is one thing. Me, a Black boy, throttling Jay, a financially secure and connected white boy, in a public setting is another thing. The risk isn’t worth it.He’s drunk, I tell myself. A half-assed excuse, but it’s enough to keep my fists at my sides.

I’m unresponsive to his joke, keeping a manageable distance between us.

Jay rears back with an affronted expression. Message received. Good. His dark brown eyebrows lower. Threads of blond hair fall from his topknot into his eyes. His round jaw works in a small circle like he’s chewing on words.

“What’s wrong?”

You. I almost say it. “Nothing,” I grit out.

“Then let’s go find D and—”

I don’t budge when his hand touches my shoulder, then falls away. “I’m actually gonna head out.”

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