Page 86 of As You Walk On

It’s my turn to stare idly at the table. My throat is dry. All I can think about is what my world would look like without Jay’s and Darren’s jokes or endless text threads or random FaceTime calls during the night.

What would life be like without Dad standing over me while I studied? Without his hugs or temple kisses. Without hisI’m proud of yousmiles.

“He’s gone. Because of me. And I’m too scared to even visit his grave,” River says into Makayla’s shoulder.

My stomach tightens. Losing Granny was hard. I still struggle going to the cemetery to visit her.

“Sorry for stealing your spotlight, Luca,” sniffs River, laughing weakly before blowing their nose.

Luca grins back.

“What if you did?” I ask impulsively. When more than a few eyes look my way, I quickly clarify, “Visit his grave.”

River’s eyebrows shoot up like I hadn’t heard a word they just said. Thing is, I did. I’ve been terrified to do things before.But there was one thing that always finally pushed me to finally commit to something: TNT’s dares.

“I dare you to go visit Devaughn’s grave,” I say, smiling. “With all of us.”

“This isn’t a game,” hisses Aleah.

“I’m serious.” Maybe it’s the adrenaline from the promposal reenactment. Or the exhaustion of the night hitting its peak. Maybe I’m tired of these dares being a requirement to maintain a friendship rather than something Iwantto do. Something that makes you jump headfirst into a pool knowing your friends will be right there when you emerge.

I tell them as much, beaming helplessly.

“New rules,” I declare. “Everyone dares someone else to do something that’ll, I don’t know, make a difference. Aren’t you tired of feeling like we’re damned if we do or damned if we don’t?”

Almost vibrating out of my seat with excitement, I turn back to River: “I dare you to visit Devaughn’s grave with us... tonight. Tell him how you feel. Say goodbye.”

River still looks doubtful.

Luca bumps my shoulder, half smirking. Aleah stares me down, but what’s new? Makayla whispers something to River.

“Okay,” croaks River.

“Okay?”

River turns to Luca. “I dare you to prompose again. Someone new. Go to prom with whomever you want. Let your family be mad AF.”

“Wow, Riv.” Aleah nods her approval. “Put him on the spot.”

A fire circles the brown of Luca’s eyes. It’s ridiculously sexy.“Fine.” He points at Makayla. “I dare you to share therealMakayla on social media. One post. Introduce your followers to your bookish side or whatever.”

“Oh my God, you little shit.” Makayla flips him off, giggling. “Only if Aleah tries out for the Rolling Tones.”

“Fuck you, no,” Aleah says, cackling into her tea. “Never happening.”

“Aleah!” Makayla smacks her shoulder. “You have to. I dare you.”

“I don’t have to do nothin’ but stay Black and die.”

I hold back a grin. It’s one of Mario’s favorite quotes fromLean on Me, an essential Black film he and Dad made sure we watched at least three times.

“We sink, we swim, we rise, we fall,” I say quietly, another quote from the movie. The smallest twitch pokes at the corner of her lips. The littlest of smiles.

“Not gonna lie,” says Luca. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you put Amanda Cox in her place if she tries to voice-correct you.”

Makayla claps enthusiastically. “Spring auditions are soon. It won’t kill you to try out. Something to separate you from the Ballers.”

Aleah stares at her nearly empty cup for a moment.

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