Page 87 of As You Walk On

“I guess,” she finally says. “I know my dad would love it. My uncle too.”

This time, neither of us runs from what the acknowledgment of Mario’s existence means.

“Who knows.” Her eyes lower, jaw tensing. “I might not even go back to the Ballers anyway.”

I want to tell her she can’t quit the basketball team. It’s her ticket to an athletic scholarship. Breaking out of Louisville. Any D1 schoolwould beluckyto have her. But who am I to say that out loud?

Aleah squints my way. “So, that means I have to dare you.”

“Er. You don’t... have to?”

She leans on her elbows, dragging out her contemplating. It’s the longest, most painful sixty-five seconds of the whole night. Maybe my life.

“I dare you to—”

Go to hell?I think, but never say.

“—do one thing for yourself.”

I lean back. Is that concern in her eyes? I can’t tell. But when she says, “It doesn’t matter what, as long as it makes you andonly youhappy,” I know she means it.

We’re not Birdie and TJ anymore. But this isn’t bad either.

After a quiet beat, I agree. “Okay.”

Aleah leaves it at that.

I fold my hands behind my head. It hasn’t been a perfect day by a long shot. But I don’t know. With Makayla already waving down our server for the checks, River demolishing the rest of their waffles, Aleah scrolling through the official Rolling Tones TikTok, Luca’s hip and knee and ankle pressed to mine as he crunches on cold bacon—maybe the night’s just beginning.

Maybe our lives are too.

“Got it!” Makayla announces, flashing us her phone screen.

Pinned on the map is the cemetery where Devaughn’s grave is. Thirty minutes away. River exhales shakily, but Aleah grabs their hand.

We’re doing this. Together.

“I need to run back by the party first,” I say, feeling the shape of Jay’s keys digging into my thigh. “One last stop.”

18

GOODBYES ARE NEVER GOOD

The walk toJay’s SUV is endless.

Maybe that’s my nerves talking. Our group chat is still a dead zone, which only heightens the buzzing in my system. I texted Jay before leaving Waffle House. Told him I was coming back to give him his keys. He’s left me on read.

Part of me wants to get in and get out. Leave the keys with Jayla or someone. But I can’t.

While driving back to Chloe’s, all I thought about was Aleah’s dare.

One thing for myself. I don’t know what that is. Maybe talking to Jay, telling him what I should’ve countless times before, will help.

Or maybe it won’t.

I parked Makayla’s vehicle almost a block away. There weren’t any spots closer. Despite it being past one a.m., the party’s still jumping. Before walking away, I caught a glimpse of Luca throughthe passenger window. Even the shadows couldn’t hide the flush of his cheeks when I mouthed,I’ll be right back.

My phone vibrates in my palm. I quickly unlock it, anticipating some sign of life from Darren. But it’s only an Instagram notification.

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