Page 91 of As You Walk On

“That’s it?”

Jay stretches onto his toes, yawning. “Yup! Convince my girl and prom’s yours, bro.”

“And the favor.”

He shrugs. “Yeah. That too.”

On paper, it appears easy. Go back to the party. Find Jayla. Plead with her to leave behind the cheer squad to catch a rideshare home with her boyfriend. But this is Jayla, not my biggest fan.

Even if this feels like a trap, I still say, “You’re on.”

Jay brandishes his phone, snorting. A few taps later, he flashes the stopwatch app we use to measure our run times during the off-season. “Time’s ticking, Golden Boy.”

19:55. 19:54.

I watch the numbers change with every heart-aching inhale.

This is my second shot at...everything.

I take off, arms pumping. Legs catching a familiar fire like when I’m really pushing myself on the track. I haul my proverbial ass in what I’m sure Jay thinks is the wrong direction.

But it’s not. Finding Jayla can’t be that hard.

I have somewhere else to go first.

•••

Everyone’s gathered outside Makayla’s SUV. Luca sits on the hood, phone in hand. He’s recording Aleah teaching Makayla a new dance even I haven’t mastered yet. River’s parked on the ground near a front tire, mimicking their every move.

The road crunches under my soles as I skid to a stop in front of them.

“Ready to go?” Aleah asks.

“A-almost...” I heave out. “Just a small deviation in our original plan.”

Makayla’s brow wrinkles. Then River stands, their head tilted curiously.

“Gimme like twenty minutes. Twenty-five, tops.”

“For what?” Aleah asks.

“It’s just.” I try to catch my breath. Sweat dribbles from my hairline to my eyebrows. I’ve never been this exhausted from running before. “I promise I’ll explain when I get back.”

“No,” Aleah asserts, “tell us now, Theo. What’s going on?”

“You won’t understand.” I manage to keep my voice on the edge of calm, even though that’s quickly slipping away. “I need time.”

Something I have very little of and explaining things to Aleah won’t help.

Luca slides off the hood. Confusion shadows his face. “Time for what?”

Ugh. This isn’t what I imagined when I decided to run all the way back here. Then again, I don’t know what I was thinking. That I’d tell Luca how much unexpected fun I’ve had with him tonight? That I think I like him? And there are potentially worse prom dates around every corner at Brook-Oak, but I hope he’s feeling the same thing I am?

That we’d look pretty good holding hands at prom?

This is the problem with giving yourself permission to dream big. It makes room for all the what-ifs. The endless spiraling. All thenos we don’t want to hear but know might come.

I’m going to prom, I tell myself.I’m getting that letter.

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