“Rusty?”
I remain silent. I drink. Finally, I begin to feel a buzz. It’s not strong enough to drown out my thoughts, or the unsettling presence of my unwelcome beach companion. But it’s definitely a buzz.
Raising my head, I stare at the stars again, a little pleased to see them weave in and out. I make out Ursa Minor, but just barely. Yes, definitely a buzz.
“You know there are over?—”
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Making conversation?”
I surge to my feet and face him, anger bubbling through my veins. That’s when I see him, really see him, for the first time. Back in the kitchen, I was too embarrassed and rage-y to really take him in. Now, for the first few seconds, while losing a few billion brain cells, I’m taken aback by his intense, attractive looks.
Even with the full beard and unruly hair, he’s breathtaking in a way that few men can pull off. My eyes drift over his thick folded arms and the cross-legged stance he’s adopting as he perches on his own rock.
There isn’t enough light out here to determine the color of his eyes, but he stares back at me with a directness that’s unsettling, despite the layer of sadness in the dark depths. Then his gaze drifts over the blanket, as if he can see my body through the thick wool.
My bare feet seem to intrigue him the most, and I can almost feel him touching each digit. My toes curl into the cold sand, prompting a quirked brow from him that finally frees me from my stupid tongue-tied-ness.
“You’re not making conversation. You’re making specific conversation. About stars.”
“That’s probably because I know a little about them. No, actually, that’s not true. I know a lot about stars. And a whole range of other things, too. Pick a subject.”
“I see you’re not the humble type.”
“Is that the type that interests you?” he fires back, raising a hand to drag his fingers through his thick facial hair.
I find that oddly distracting. Enough to fire up my anger another few notches. “God, if all of Savage’s friends are like you, then I’m glad I never let him set me up with one of them like he wanted to.”
Something gleams in his eyes, but it’s gone too quickly for me to hammer down what it is. But I get the feeling he didn’t like my reference to Zach’s friends.
I toss my hair and settle back on my rock, but I continue to look at him. “How are you on the subject of silence? And practicing it?”
He doesn’t respond. He merely smiles, showing perfect white teeth, which for some reason I can imagine biting my clit. I suppress a shudder, and after a few minutes, I turn around and face the churning waves again.
The silence holds. But whatever peace I hoped to find is gone forever. His presence is too distracting. Too overpowering. Now I want to engage him. That realization alone makes me drink some more, thus increasing my buzz.
My bottle is getting lighter. Soon it’ll be empty. The thought makes me incredibly sad. Maybe when I’m done, I’ll shed the blanket and walk into the ocean, try again to do what I failed to manage in my bath last night.
“Keely?”
God, he’s relentless. “What?”
Was that my voice? That bleak but eager response, desperate for some sort of tether to a world I no longer want to be in?
“You know when I said I wasn’t the least bit interested in your vagina?” he enquires in that low, dark, increasingly alluring voice.
Suddenly, I’m not feeling so cold anymore. I’m alert. And I’m holding my breath. “Yeah?”
“I lied.”
2
KEELY
I get up from my rock, drop the blanket and bottle. My feet crunch through cold, packed sand as I run into the icy, white waves.
“Jesus!”