Page 32 of A Long Way Home

“Graduation gift.” He smiles, that's the second now in the past ten minutes.

“When you finally finished that awful PhD.” I snort-laugh.

He frowns through the glass at me. “Particle Theory is not awful.”

“Maybe to you.” I laugh, “I thought it would add to the whole professor aesthetic you had going on when you started at CERN.” More quietly, I add, “I didn’t know that place would be the beginning of the end.”

The death of us.

He clears his throat as he thrusts open the flap on the sachet and roots about inside.

I guess we’re done reminiscing about the past. Bloody typical. Shut down once the conversation broaches more difficult topics.

Peer reviewed proposals, and he can talk until the cows come home, the slightest mention of emotional turmoil and he hides behind his work.

“Is that…?”I start.

“Muttisends her love,” he says as he flashes me the goods - a tin of delicious home-baked Lebkuchen. If my throat wasn’t so dry I bet my mouth would be watering in anticipation, saliva pooling over my tongue.

“Thank God for Gerda, and for buttery chocolatey goodness,” I sigh. Closing my eyes as I imagine the crunch of the chocolatey outside and the light, fluffy centre. Images flick through my mind as I imagine the rich gingerbread flavour bursting across my tastebuds.

Matthias chuckles.

“If only you’d look at me the way you look at baked goods,” he sighs, quickly extracting another package from his satchel. “Here it is.”

He holds it up for me to see.

I feel my face light up, a wide smile stretching my dry lips. “A book?”

“How do you… It’s a gift. I wanted to surprise you, but, well, you know how well that went.”

He turns over the beautifully wrapped parcel, showcasing the pretty green paper fastened with a red satin ribbon tied in a bow. It's rectangular and slim. Definitely book-shaped.

I instinctively reach forward, my hand resting on the glass.

I hate this damn barrier between us.

“Open it for me.”

He pauses a moment.

“Please, Matze. I want to see it. This could be the last book I …” The words catch in my throat.

“Ok.” He pulls the bow with one hand, sliding the ribbon off before tucking it in his pocket. Carefully unwrapping the green paper, a slip of paper escapes its confines, floating just in front of the door.

He clears his throat, grabbing the note and scrunching it in his hand.

“Wait, what was that?”

“Nothing of importance.” He holds up the book for me. It's gorgeous.

A hardback with a pretty cover of a couple embracing. As he rotates it slowly, I see the prettiest pattern of atomic structures of molecules and mathematical equations painted along the page's edges.The spine reads ‘The space between us’ in delicate gold foiling.

“Wow.”

“It reminded me ofyou. Ofus.”

“Danke schön.”

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