Page 35 of A Long Way Home

That only sends his eyebrows further into the stratosphere. He turns me around, pointing me inside the airlock.

Looking forward through the small window in the door ahead, I see the endless sea of space. Blackest night stretching forever onwards.

“I worked a lot. She was always there. I barely noticed her. Barely noticed anything…”Through the numbness. I pause, waiting for Yuri.

He grunts as I hear the tell-tale click of a helmet seal locking into place.

I sigh. “She offered herself to me. One night. Right there in the lab - if you can believe it.”

“I believe it.” Yuri chuckles.

“I said no.”

“Why?” He moves forward to the console, the doorway behind us seals closed with a soft hiss, and a clank of the magnetic locks. Yuri turns to face me, smirking through the helmet visor. “She ugly? Sorry, my friend.”

“No. She was pleasant enough. She just wasn’t Alex.” I sigh a heavy exhale.

“Ahhh.” He says, understanding. “You couldn’t get it up.”

“Ja,exactly.”He slams the button. A loud siren sounds off. Lights flashing. “Wait.No. I didn’t say that.” I feel earlier’s heat returning to my cheeks.

“You know, there is pill for that.” Yuri continues.

The computer chirps in, interrupting our conversation. “Depressurisation in process.”

“I don’t need a pill.”

“There is no shame, my friend.”

“I could have slept with her. I just didn’t want to,” I huff, glaring at Yuri. The effect of my stare likely diminished through the many layers of the helmet’s visor.

“Sure, whatever you say.” He waves his hand again.

“It was a sterile lab.”

He looks at me, one eyebrow raised.

I’m protesting too much. Let Yuri think what he wants. The crazy Russian.

“Depressurisation complete.”

Yuri reaches forward, his hand grabbing the door's manual override. “Ready?”

I nod, instinctively holding my breath.

I don’t care what people say about the beauty of space. The calm. The peace.

They're wrong.

There is no peace in the endless void.

An infinite tide of darkness ever searching for a land that doesn’t exist.

It never stops.

Never ends.

In mathematics we work with infinities and absolutes, but when you’re presented with the vastness of true infinity then the word‘space’doesn’t cover it.

---